Our Homes: Building Up or Tearing Down?

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, 

the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1. 

Your house is your home. It does not matter if it's a small apartment or 4,000 square foot house. Your home is where you live, either alone, or with others. 

Women hold tremendous power in our homes. It does not matter if you're single, married or a single mom, you hold the keys to building up your home or tearing it down. 

We've all heard the phrase, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. 

It's well-known too, that it's difficult to have two women in one household ruling the roost. (Southern slang for boss).

The wise and foolish woman cannot live in the same house. 

Thankfully, because God has clarified this in His word, we can know which one we are.

Below is a list of a few traits of the wise woman. 

• She fears the Lord. Not the scared kind of fear, but reverant fear, that moves us to surrendered worship of our King and Savior, Jesus. Fearing the Lord isn't simply going to church. It's a deep and growing personal relationship with Him.

There are numerous scriptures stating that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but this one sums it up:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; 

all who follow His precepts have good 

understanding. Psalm 111:10

• She seeks understanding and knowledge of Him above worldly knowledge, knowing this is where her happiness, joy, and contentment is found. To gain this, she steadily reads her Bible and seeks wise counsel from others.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be 

pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect 

you and understanding will guard you. Proverbs 2:10-11

• She prays. She lays aside anxiety and talks to God, openly and honestly, while thanking Him, and trusting Him, knowing that this is where she finds peace.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, 

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests 

be made known to God and the peace of God, which passes 

all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds 

through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

• She oversees and cares. She manages and sets the tone of her household, whether single, married or a single mom. Except when there's abuse going on, we women know, don't we, that we set the tone and atmosphere of our homes? I'm not talking about clean, spotless homes, with material things, but taking care of herself and family through her example of edifying with actions and words. Making her home a haven to live in. 

She watches over the affairs of her household and 

does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

If you're thinking it's impossible to be this wise woman, you're correct. It's impossible in your own strength, but totally possible with God's empowering spirit living in us. It is a lifelong process that begins with...you guessed it....the fear of the Lord. It's Him who does the work in you. 


What a relief!

Now, for a few traits of the foolish woman who tears her house down. None of us have ever set out to intentionally tear down our homes. We don't want to destroy our home. But satan does; homes, families, marriages, you name it, he's going to work to tear down these things. He does it cunningly and craftily when we're not seeking God's wisdom and help in building up our homes.

• She worships idols, like money, greed, pride, self, beauty. Looking for love and security in all the wrong places.

Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, 

nor can they rescue you because they are useless. I Samuel 12:21

• She rejects instruction, insists on her own way through manipulation in her words and actions.

The way of a fool is right in their own eyes. Proverbs 12:15

...but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7b

• Anxiety, worry and fear rule her heart. We may struggle with these 3 things, but to let them rule our life, is distrust in the Lord, by neglecting prayer and fellowship with Him.

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind 
word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. I Peter 

• She's argumentative and tears down with words and actions.

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky 

roof in a rainstorm. Proverbs 27:15

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24

I confess that I'm a work in progress. I haven't always strived to be that wise woman. In many little ways, I was disassembling my home. Thank God He got my attention before it was too late.

I'm thankful for the work of the cross where Christ bore all my sin, making me whole and righteous by His blood. I'm fully dependent on the Holy Spirit's indwelling power to empower me to become this wise woman who enjoys the benefits that come with it.

How about you? Which woman do you want to be? I welcome you to share your thoughts in the comments below. 

Your fellow wisdom seeker,

Terri