Alone-Military Separation

Today, on this day of memoral when we remember all our military service men and women, veterans and those who gave their lives in service for our freedoms, I introduce to you my friend and writing comrade, Barbara Latta.

Barbara writes transparently about her life as a military wife and mom in today's post. I know you will find encouragement and hope by what Barbara shares below. You can catch up with her at www.barbaralatta.com, and sign up for her blog titled, Navigating LIfe's Curves.

Here's Barbara!

Alone. Every woman married to a military man understands that word.

The time span of being alone we experience may differ, but we are a sisterhood of women who know the feeling of having her husband be away for periods of time. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, special events and the mundane Mondays, have all been spent at some period of our lives without the man we married.

Adjusting to this vacancy is difficult. We cry, we get depressed, we get angry, and we try to put on the face of normalcy while going about daily routines and keeping children from sucking up the loneliness we are facing.

At the same time, we are proud of our husbands and what they are doing by serving their country and putting their lives and safety on the line. Sometimes for those who don’t appreciate it.

How do we cope? Some don’t. Some end up with broken marriages or addicted to substances they tried to use as a crutch for the void.

Jesus is the only one who can uphold a falling person. He is not a crutch, but a strong tower in weakness. 

He is the lighthouse in the darkness and the only refreshing stream in the dry desert of depression. 

He is the shield of faith against the fear of what is going on with the mate who at times is in a dangerous place. And He is the shield of faith against the fear of an empty house that creaks and groans at night with noises you don’t recognize.

People have asked me how I do it. How do you stay by yourself and not go crazy? Aren’t you afraid to live alone?

If I thought about it, I would be.

Psalm 91 tells me that if I dwell in the secret place of the Most High I shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

Isaiah 26:3 tells me to keep my mind stayed on Him and I will have perfect peace.

Hebrews 13:5 tells me God will never leave me or forsake me. I am never alone.

My Navy husband has spent a total of 10 years away from home through military service and as a contractor. During those times there were homecomings for a few weeks or months,then he would return again to different duty stations all over the world.

You may have a son or daughter serving in the military. The feelings of separation are different than for a deployed spouse, but you still miss them and you try not to worry.

I have been in those shoes, as well. Our oldest son is an Army veteran and our youngest, an Air Force veteran. I have waved good-bye from airports and bus stations with tears in my eyes.

What can you do to retain your sanity and also encourage your family members?

• Pray – Our most important resource should not be overlooked because we become too busy. Knowing our spouse or children are in God’s hands brings comfort and peace to our hearts.
• Confess the Word – Daily confessions are important and build your faith. Spread the Word over yourself, your loved ones who are away, and any others still at home with you.
• Don’t isolate yourself – Stay active with friends, other family members, your church and other organizations you may belong to.
• Have a support partner – Another military wife or mother knows what you are going through and can be a prayer partner and encourager when you are feeling down. If you are down, you can’t lift up and encourage your mate.
• Stay in touch – Email and Skype are great ways to connect often, but my husband said the cards and letters I mailed to him meant more because he could touch them and keep the tangible reminder of home nearby. The ones he sent home did the same for me.
• Keep yourself strong and healthy, both mentally and physically for yourself and your family’s benefit. After all, if your husband fears for your safety and health, he will not be able to keep his mind on his responsibilities.

May you know, as the wife or mother of a military member, you are special. You are sacrificing as well as they are because you are giving your family to the service of our country.

You are a gift and a shining star in the flag of womanhood.

Remember, you are not alone. You have a host of other wives and mothers praying for you and willing to give support when you need help. And most of all, our heavenly Father has you and your family in the palm of His hand.

A couple of great resources to help you through these times, are: Fighting Fear: Winning the War at Home When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle and While My Soldier Serves: Prayers for Those with Loved Ones in the Military. Both are written by Author Edie Melson. 

Have a blessed and peaceful Memorial Day.

Your fellow comrade,

Barbara Latta