Standing at a Crossroad-Part 2

Welcome to part two of Standing at a Crossroads. If you missed last Monday’s post, scroll down or access it to the right of this page.

Are you at a crossroads today? 

Has God presented an idea or situation to you, you feel He wants you to pursue, but you need assurance this direction is from Him?

As I share my story about a life-changing decision I made, I hope it will help you move forward through your own crossroads.

Last Monday I left off where I’d made the decision to attend a three-month missions training with Youth with a Mission (YWAM), at the University of the Nations in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. 

God’s ongoing leading in this direction was an exciting time in my life, but I was also scared to pieces!

My close friends and church family were supportive and excited for us. 

I wondered how I would explain our three-month absence to my ex. His controlling behavior instilled the fear that one day he’d follow through with his threats. 

I provided him with information about the organization and the children’s school. He'd accept it as a great opportunity one day, then the next spew harassing threats. This had become the norm no matter what I did. 

This was not an overnight decision. God’s leading in this direction was over the course of a year and a half.

Two weeks after my ex-husband married my former best friend, my kids and I were in Hawaii surrounded by God’s beauty and new friends from all over the world.

I developed close friendships with several other single moms in my class and their children became friends with mine. Our eyes were opened to a whole world of different cultures, people and nations.

I was glad I didn’t shrug off God’s initial prompting to pray and seek wise counsel about this training. When He filled me with a strong desire to go, He provided circumstances that assured me this was His leading and enabled me to step out in faith.  

My kids were thriving. I was able to focus on my relationship with the Lord, my classwork and experience healing.

One day I went alone to a lagoon/beach not far from campus. On my walk back, I meandered along the sea wall and stopped at a beautiful spot to take pictures.  

While digging the camera out of my bag, I had an overwhelming sense of being on a honeymoon. My ex-husband married my ex best friend, yet I was the one on a honeymoon with Jesus! Only God can orchestrate such things.

One day the sheriff came on campus to serve me with

custody papers. Fear and anger engulfed me, but God quickly won that battle as the case was thrown out. I was filled with concern of what my ex might do next. Fear crept in about continuing with the eight-week outreach and then a possible staff position following the classes.

As our class time came to an end, I had not committed to the outreach, even though the leaders strongly encouraged us to go. I had no doubt God would provide, but underlying fears challenged my decision. 

There was also pressure from other family members and a job waiting at home. I struggled with outside pressure, as well as my practical sensibilities.

I stood at another major crossroad. Stay or go home. My heart and mind screamed, “STAY!”

I didn’t press in with God for direction. I allowed fear and outside pressure to rule my decision. Before I knew it, the words came out of my mouth, “we’re going home.”

I returned to the rat race, along with more hardships than before. God provided our needs, but it took a long time for me to accept that I’d made the wrong decision. 

In hindsight, the job would have still been there at a later time. I realized my ex could have never followed through with his empty threats.  

Aborting the training by not completing the field assignment, resulted in years of grief and lasting consequences for me and my children. I believe God was positioning us to break free from abuse by staying on and coming home later when He said it was time.

God is a redeeming God though. He used my training by providing short-term opportunities to Mexico and Honduras. He eventually severed ties with my ex, but not without years of emotional abuse that otherwise might not have happened, if I’d pressed in with God before making the decision to return home.

God doesn’t waste anything. Rather than dwelling on what might have been, God uses this wonderful lesson of growth when I make decisions today.

What crossroads decision are you facing? Big or small, it's crucial to spend time alone with the Lord, pray, read your Bible and 
wait. Seek wise counsel and pay attention to doors that close and open. There will always be opposition from well-meaning loved ones, as well as worldly pressures. 

When God provides circumstances that line up with His word and wise counsel with trusted friends, you can proceed with confidence that the path He sets before you is His best. 

You have made known to me the path of life; 

you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

Feel free to share your crossroads below.

Until next Monday, stay the course,

Terri