Standing at a Crossroad-Part 2

Welcome to part two of Standing at a Crossroads. If you missed last Monday’s post, scroll down or access it to the right of this page.

Are you at a crossroads today? 

Has God presented an idea or situation to you, you feel He wants you to pursue, but you need assurance this direction is from Him?

As I share my story about a life-changing decision I made, I hope it will help you move forward through your own crossroads.

Last Monday I left off where I’d made the decision to attend a three-month missions training with Youth with a Mission (YWAM), at the University of the Nations in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. 

God’s ongoing leading in this direction was an exciting time in my life, but I was also scared to pieces!

My close friends and church family were supportive and excited for us. 

I wondered how I would explain our three-month absence to my ex. His controlling behavior instilled the fear that one day he’d follow through with his threats. 

I provided him with information about the organization and the children’s school. He'd accept it as a great opportunity one day, then the next spew harassing threats. This had become the norm no matter what I did. 

This was not an overnight decision. God’s leading in this direction was over the course of a year and a half.

Two weeks after my ex-husband married my former best friend, my kids and I were in Hawaii surrounded by God’s beauty and new friends from all over the world.

I developed close friendships with several other single moms in my class and their children became friends with mine. Our eyes were opened to a whole world of different cultures, people and nations.

I was glad I didn’t shrug off God’s initial prompting to pray and seek wise counsel about this training. When He filled me with a strong desire to go, He provided circumstances that assured me this was His leading and enabled me to step out in faith.  

My kids were thriving. I was able to focus on my relationship with the Lord, my classwork and experience healing.

One day I went alone to a lagoon/beach not far from campus. On my walk back, I meandered along the sea wall and stopped at a beautiful spot to take pictures.  

While digging the camera out of my bag, I had an overwhelming sense of being on a honeymoon. My ex-husband married my ex best friend, yet I was the one on a honeymoon with Jesus! Only God can orchestrate such things.

One day the sheriff came on campus to serve me with

custody papers. Fear and anger engulfed me, but God quickly won that battle as the case was thrown out. I was filled with concern of what my ex might do next. Fear crept in about continuing with the eight-week outreach and then a possible staff position following the classes.

As our class time came to an end, I had not committed to the outreach, even though the leaders strongly encouraged us to go. I had no doubt God would provide, but underlying fears challenged my decision. 

There was also pressure from other family members and a job waiting at home. I struggled with outside pressure, as well as my practical sensibilities.

I stood at another major crossroad. Stay or go home. My heart and mind screamed, “STAY!”

I didn’t press in with God for direction. I allowed fear and outside pressure to rule my decision. Before I knew it, the words came out of my mouth, “we’re going home.”

I returned to the rat race, along with more hardships than before. God provided our needs, but it took a long time for me to accept that I’d made the wrong decision. 

In hindsight, the job would have still been there at a later time. I realized my ex could have never followed through with his empty threats.  

Aborting the training by not completing the field assignment, resulted in years of grief and lasting consequences for me and my children. I believe God was positioning us to break free from abuse by staying on and coming home later when He said it was time.

God is a redeeming God though. He used my training by providing short-term opportunities to Mexico and Honduras. He eventually severed ties with my ex, but not without years of emotional abuse that otherwise might not have happened, if I’d pressed in with God before making the decision to return home.

God doesn’t waste anything. Rather than dwelling on what might have been, God uses this wonderful lesson of growth when I make decisions today.

What crossroads decision are you facing? Big or small, it's crucial to spend time alone with the Lord, pray, read your Bible and 
wait. Seek wise counsel and pay attention to doors that close and open. There will always be opposition from well-meaning loved ones, as well as worldly pressures. 

When God provides circumstances that line up with His word and wise counsel with trusted friends, you can proceed with confidence that the path He sets before you is His best. 

You have made known to me the path of life; 

you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

Feel free to share your crossroads below.

Until next Monday, stay the course,

Terri

Standing at a Crossroads-Part 1

Are you at a crossroads? Big or small, not knowing what direction

to take can be over-whelming. How can you know which way you're to go?

Twenty-two years ago I stood at a major crossroads. Following ongoing confirmation through godly counsel, God’s word and circumstances, I made my decision. This led me into the most wonderful time of my life with the Lord.

A short time later I stood at yet another crossroads, with a second decision to make.

This is a two-part post. We’ll continue part 2 in next week's Monday Marker.

I’m sharing my story with the hope it will help, if you find yourself at a crossroads. The directional marker God staked down for me during this time changed my life. 

Twenty-two years down the road, that marker still affects how I make big decisions. I haven’t always adhered to it and regret when I’ve doubted, jumped ahead of God, and made decisions without seeking clear direction from Him. 

It all started at a Bible study I regularly attended. Two guests came to talk about their recent overseas, short-term mission project. They shared about the work and experiences they had during their trip.

Foreign missions had never been on my radar before. I was moved speechless by their stories, and saw many faces of hurting people in their pictures and slides that resonated deeply with me.

Several years prior, I’d gone through a horrific divorce. Through God’s mercy and grace, I’d found deep comfort and healing. I was drawn to helping others going through similar experiences. As I listened that night, I was surprisingly compelled with a desire to know more.

Through my church, I met a lot of missionaries and heard about short-term opportunities. Through these connections, God introduced me to Youth with a Mission (YWAM), an international organization that trains long and short-term missionaries, Christian leaders, pastors, etc.

YWAM training campuses are scattered all over the world. The

main campus is in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, called University of the Nations. Children attend Foundation School while their parents are in class. The classroom training is three months followed by a two-month field assignment on foreign soil.

For a struggling, single mom of two, this seemed a crazy, far-fetched notion. But I couldn’t ignore the deepening desire and ongoing confirmation. It took the Lord a year and a half to get us there. He provided miraculously through finances and support of those around us. This was the best time of my life and also the worst.

After my divorce, I endured emotional abuse and harassment from my ex-husband. I went to extremes to keep the peace while my fear of him grew. The insane events that often unfolded, reminded me of the TV show, COPS. His life was out of control and spilled onto the kids and me, even though we were divorced.

However, God continued pouring good things into my life. I truly was at a crossroads. It’s no coincidence that the training is called Crossroads Discipleship Training School. One day, while doing Bible study homework, I read this: 

Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the 

ancient paths, ask where the good way is, 

and walk in it, and you will find 

rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)

I asked, “God, is that You?”

For months I’d put these wild notions on the back burner, leaving it up to God if He wanted us to do something as outlandish as this.

I’d asked the Lord to fill my heart with His desires, replacing those that weren’t of Him. I also asked Him to show me in His word.

This was the push I needed to recklessly abandon myself to my new Husband, Jesus, and trust Him with my mustard seed faith. Doors opened with each step we took in preparations to go. 

If you’re at a crossroads and your decision isn’t life altering, take time to pray, seek godly wisdom and wait. I’ve learned the hard way to NOT force any doors open.

If your decision is life-altering, know that God will not put you in the position to make an overnight decision. Finding His direction isn’t a big mystery you’re burdened with to solve. He doesn’t play games with our head like that.

As you seek God’s direction, keep praying, stay in His word, seek godly wisdom and don’t make any decision based on your emotions.

I invite you to share below in the comments or email me a personal comment via the contact form on the right.

Until next Monday, stay the course.

Terri