Counting The Days...and Hours

This time next week…at exactly this time, on this day, I’ll be…

Have you ever been so excited about an event that you count the days and hours until it happens?

A road trip. That beach vacation. Your wedding day. Birth of a baby?

And when the event comes and goes, in remembrance of the special occasion, you say to yourself…”this time last week, I was…” and then you sigh, longing to be back in that time.

That’s me today.

I’ve been counting the weeks and days ever since plans were made six weeks ago.

Last month, my husband and I were traveling home on Interstate 20 east from Mississippi to Georgia. My dad lives in Mississippi and we’d gone to attend my Uncle Don’s funeral. My dad is the youngest of seven, at 82 years young. He has one surviving brother, Uncle Bob, who lives in northern Arkansas. Uncle Bob is 89, I think, and was also at his brother’s funeral.

While we were all together, Uncle Bob kept inviting me to come visit him and his wife Wilma in Mountain Home, Arkansas. The day before we all left, Uncle Bob repeatedly said, “I dare you. I dare you to come and visit us.” 

It was quite endearing, irresistible and well, don’t dare me to do something because I'm likely to accept.

My dad and all his siblings grew up in Mt. Ida, Arkansas, except for a 10-year gig in New Mexico, during the 1940’s.

Throughout my childhood, during the 1960s and early ‘70s, we visited my grandparents in this tiny Arkansas town, where they still lived in the old rock house on the hilltop of a dirt road, far off the beaten path.

We’d travel from northern Arkansas, where we lived at the time,

winding through the Ozark Mountains southward to Mt. Ida, to visit my grandparents. They must have heard the gravel and dirt road come to life, beneath our car tires, because they’d always be waiting on the porch to greet us, as my parents, my two brothers and I approached their house.

Oh, the memories! A time when life was simple and exploring the outdoors filled our days.

So, as my husband and I drove home, six weeks ago, he suggested that if I was ever going to visit my uncle in Arkansas, the time was now. That’s when plans unfolded to take my dad with us, so he could give us the grand tour of Mt. Ida, then head north to Uncle Bob’s.

The bittersweet reality is, this will most likely be the last time my dad and I will see Mt. Ida, and visit his brother in Mountain Home.

Why am I so excited about going back to Mt. Ida, Arkansas, that I’m counting the days and hours before we leave?

And why would I think it’s interesting enough to share it with you?

Well, I could use a little bit of escape and distraction from all the crazy going on today. Couldn’t you?

I’m going to take a step back in time to when kids got dirty, swam in creeks and ate grandma’s fried chicken on a river bank.

I'm also inviting my brothers and all my cousins who share the same sentiments of Grandma and Grandpa Jackson, the old rock house in Mt. Ida and all it represents, to escape their daily busyness and join me and my dad on our upcoming Arkansas Adventure 2017.

So, this time next week, the adventure begins, as we head west on Interstate 20.

Until then, let’s stay the course with this:

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children. Psalm 103:17

Love,

Terri

(Photos courtesy of Pixabay - www.pixabay.com)

Dreaming of Escape: Overwhelmed

The struggle was real.

It was to the point that I was daydreaming about an escape: Liquidate my assets (I had nothing), go

somewhere far away, where no one knew me, live in a hut and work at a simple job that kept a thatched roof over my head and food on a table.

No worries. No responsibilities. No more dealing with the drama, problems, and all-consuming struggles.

I was failing anyway, so why try anymore?

I wrote the letter, explaining why I was leaving. I felt he could do a better job than me, raising our kids. It didn’t matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to climb out of the pit. A single mom, weary from trying to do everything in my own strength.

Yes, the struggle was real. But the lies that were badgering me were not. One lie, then two. They were subtle at first. They came at me on a bad day. It snowballed from there.

Isn’t that just like our enemy, the devil? That’s his strategy. You get knocked down by a life event, big or small, and he invades your territory. While you’re down, another lie and then another. Before long you’re convinced that the lies are the truth and the truth is one big lie, until you’re thinking

irrationally.

I signed my farewell letter, then read it over through blurred eyes, thinking of my escape plan.

I imagined what it would be like, thinking through my decision. If I follow through with this, could I ever come back? Would my kids let me back into their life? Would my family forgive me? What would all my church friends think? Would running away really solve anything or cause more grief?

I thought about my two precious little kids. WAIT A MINUTE!

He’s the better parent? But he left. His lifestyle is leading him down dark, scary paths.

               If I’m a failure, then God is a liar.

My thoughts shifted slightly. I had a free-will choice to make. Which direction would I choose?

The Holy Spirit has a magnificent way of revealing truth when we lean in to Him. One truth, then two. Before you know it, He shows up on the scene and dispels the lies, taking back His territory.

Truth: I still had choices but was believing I didn’t.

Still wavering, my memory flooded with the truths that God had already spoken in His word, my Bible, which I’d dated, underlined and highlighted. These truths were where I found strength in the worst times of my life, causing me to soar once before.

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; 

you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; 

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. 

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; 

the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:1-2

Truth: We aren’t promised a life without trouble and sorrow. We ARE promised that Almighty God is with us in them, guiding us with His strong arm, while holding our right hand.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 

I will strengthen you and help you; 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand 

and says to you, do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

Truth: God will never, ever, ever leave us alone in our struggle. He will strengthen, help and uphold us with His very own strong hand. The same hand that holds your right hand.
Imagine holding hands with God!

He will strengthen you. If we lay ourselves in the palm of His hand, He’ll turn your struggles into strengths.

My problems didn’t all go away that day, but the lies did, along with my temporary insanity.

I’m still here, 20+ years later writing about my Rescuer and Prince.

That wasn’t the only time I struggled in life to the point of daydreaming about a grand escape. But I now know of the devil’s schemes and tactics. I know if I lean in to the Holy Spirit and listen, truly listen, I’ll hear the truth.

And the truth always sets me free. The truth rescues me from…myself.

Have you struggled with wanting to run away? Quit? Disappear?

Are you believing the enemy’s lies that will lead you down a destructive path?

I invite you to share in the comments below what you feel comfortable sharing and how you overcame the desire to run away.

Will you stay the course with me?

Terri