Pushing Through Anxiety-Tips to squelch a panic attack

by Terri Webster

I am on the tail end of an anxious week with panic symptoms still lingering.

What am I anxious about? 

I could name a ton of reasons. Not all of them are bad. Most are good, which begin with apprehension or excitement about an upcoming event. 

Mix good and exciting with a few underlying, troubling realities, and I have the perfect recipe for full-blown symptoms that can send me straight to bed.

Do you relate?

I first experienced this intruder two summers ago. The first attack came from out of nowhere. Sudden onset of nausea, dizziness, extreme fatigue, shallow breathing and heart palpitations. The more I fought it, the worse I felt. 

My thoughts ran ahead of me and I couldn’t catch up. An overall

feeling of being out of control consumed me.

At first I blamed it on a bug or the flu. I worried that it was my heart. The symptoms would last all day, then go away as quickly as they came.

When it happened a second time several weeks later, and then again and again, each one about a month apart, I went to my doctor. She ruled out heart problems and everything else checked out fine. She asked me if I was under stress.

Who isn’t, right?

A lot was going on during that time, not to mention being in menopause, which could be a major culprit.

I share my story because I am surrounded by women who experience anxiety, panic and depression. It interferes with our lives, doesn’t it? It’s inconvenient. You’ve probably thought like I have, “I don’t have time for this. I have too much to do.”

Once I realized what was happening, I discovered some ways to squelch these episodes, which I want to share with you. I don’t wait until anxiety strikes, but have incorporated these things on a daily basis.

• Get still before God. Find a place where you won’t be interrupted. If ten minutes is all you have, that’s ten powerful minutes of “casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). God’s word provides endless remedies for our anxious hearts. Here’s just one that sums up my steps to having His promised peace for my heart and mind.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, 

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your 

requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends 

all understanding, will guard your hearts and your 

minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

• See your doctor. Ask to have your hormone levels tested. This was a big deal for me. Once I gained understanding of what was going on chemically, I could make decisions on what to do about it. For me, it’s a natural form of hormone replacement recommended by a holistic doctor. And, of course, depending on your personal situation, your doctor can determine if other medicines are needed. 
• Food and drink. Please don’t take away my morning coffee! I
  
  fill a big mug, PLUS a small thermos and take it to my quiet place with God every morning. I’ve cut back though. I have discovered some low-acidic, organic versions at Walmart. They’re not expensive and aren’t chemically decaffeinated. Even though it’s caffeinated, I don’t experience the jitters.
• As for food, when we’re stressed, we tend to eat more processed, sugary foods. I’ve found a lot of relief by avoiding all junky-types of foods and drinks. This includes NO artificial sweeteners. Trust me when I say, I’m not deprived. There are gobs of whole food options, as well as convenience foods that aren’t chock full of ingredients that were never intended for humans. You’re worth taking the time to read ALL labels!
• Essential oils are a major armor against various health issues including anxiety and emotional woes. I’ve used them for six years and thank God every day for creating the resources, and giving men the wisdom and knowledge on how to source these oils from plants and trees that have undeniable power. Again, read the labels. If you have further questions about essential oils, feel free to send me a private email.
• The world says we’re invincible! You can do it all, have it all. I’m not sure what “it all” is, but saying yes to things God doesn’t intend you to say yes to, even if it’s a great thing, does not mean it’s great for you. God’s word tells us that the greatest thing that surpasses all others, is wisdom. With godly wisdom comes enjoyment of fruits far better than fine gold and choice
  
  silver. Wisdom grows throughout the years, but materialistic gain rots, decays and only satisfies for a short time. Wisdom lasts a lifetime and beyond. Proverbs 8 is full of the rich promises of pursuing wisdom and knowledge from Him. I’ve said no to a lot the past few years, including over-volunteering, which has provided much-needed margin for me to heal and learn how to manage stress and anxiety when it rears its ugly head.
• Accept and let go of what you have no control over. Those things are God’s specialty and better left to Him.
• Lastly, exercise. Breathe deeply. Stretch. Get outside. Walk. Ride a bike.

What are some other ways you’ve found to combat anxiety and panic attacks? Feel free to share below in the comments area below. 

Staying the course, 

Terri

photo courtesy of www.pixabay.com

Winds of Change

by Terri Webster

Most of the time I welcome change with open arms. I’ve become

fairly adaptable and have taken a few risks throughout my life.

But that wasn’t always the case. The changes I went through while growing up were painful. I moved a lot with my family and lived in five different states by the time I reached high school. My dad worked for the US Forestry Service, so we were transferred about every four years. 

By the time I felt secure in my surroundings and had strong friendships, we were packing again and saying goodbye.

I grew up feeling insecure and painfully shy. I never felt I fit in anywhere.

When I started high school, I was the new girl again. I hated that label. I was pushed to the limit trying to make new friends and fit in.

I remember one day realizing how foreign it was to me that one of my new friends was born and raised in the same house, never seeing new towns, experiencing new things. While I envied her stable life, I realized I was appreciative of all the changes I’d experienced, all the people I met along the way and places I was fortunate to live in.

After I married my Army husband at age 19, we moved to another country. When he got out of the Army, we returned to the states and became Christians shortly afterward and began setting roots in Jesus and His unchanging word.

We bought our first house where I thought I could set down stakes and settle for at least the next 20 years. Four years later I was caught up by the winds of change again when my husband left and I became a single mom. 

The years that followed were the hardest I’ve ever endured. But I learned that true stability and security lies in God’s unchanging love, His Word and character. I learned that setting roots and settling in to live with Him is the only secure and stable place to be.

I remarried in 2007, and have lived in the same house for 12 years. That’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere and I’m almost 60!

We’re about to pull up stakes and sell our house to move two hours from where we live now. It means leaving our beloved friends and everything that’s familiar.

My daughter and her family recently relocated six hours south of me. That means road trips back and forth, especially to see those precious granddaughters.

Another big change is I’m leaving my job, where I’ve worked since 1991, with a couple of hiatuses over the years. Turning a milestone age of 60 is sobering, as I’m caught up again in the winds of change.

I want to glide gracefully through these winds of change, staying anchored and secure in the God I’ve come to know to be the One and only unchanging constant in my life.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today 

and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Are you facing changes in your own life? Do you feel out of control and unstable as you are blown about through the winds of change?

Whether or not the changes in your life are good or bad, I want you to know that your stability and foundation are sure in Christ. Stay close to Him by spending time alone in His word and telling Him your fears and concerns.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because 

He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I want you to know Jesus can be fully trusted and wholly leaned upon as you anchor yourself in Him. As you do, you will not be blown off course through unexpected changes. 

Psalm 94:22 But the Lord has become my fortress, 

and my God, the Rock in whom I take refuge.

I invite you to share below in the comments about how you have stayed the course through life’s winds of change.  

Staying the course,

Terri

Photos courtesy of www.pixabay.com

Cyclone Hurricane

House

Who Touched My Clothes? Part 2

by Terri Webster

Last week I wrote about a woman who suffered a chronic illness, until she touched Jesus’ clothes while in a mob of people on a dusty road. She was instantly healed.

Her illness had controlled her life for 12 years. She used up all her resources trying to find healing, only to get worse.

If you missed last week’s post, you can read it Here, before continuing.

Do you suffer with a chronic condition?

I do.

A chronic condition is something that persists, is long-lasting.

My personal search for answers to chronic pain has led me right here, where I am today,  struggling to put words to it. I don’t want to say anything cliché or give some lighthearted answer with a Bible verse to back up my answer.

If you struggle with a chronic disease, pain, depression, etc., the last thing you want to read is do this, do that, eat this, don’t eat that or be cured by doing this. The Internet is full with blogs and articles with promises of healing.

Now, I do avoid certain foods, and use more natural forms of managing my chronic conditions, but I want to go below the surface of skin, veins, tendons, joints, bones, blood and cartilage today and look at what Jesus also meant when He said to the sick woman, Daughter, your faith has healed you. Mark 5:34

The day she reached out and touched His clothes, was the beginning of a new life for her. She no longer suffered with a bleeding condition. But a deeper, more personal healing was done because she believed Jesus was the promised Savior.

He called her daughter. Because she believed Jesus was the promised Savior, she now could enjoy His peace and walk in freedom from suffering that went beyond her physical pain to the core of her soul and spirit.

After that life-changing day, we don’t know if she simply went home or followed Him to His torturous death. I can only speculate, but if I had been that woman, I would have wanted to follow my Healer, the One who called me daughter, for the rest of my days on earth.

Many spiritual leaders have told us that we either don’t have enough faith, or there must be sin and unforgiveness in our lives as to why we may not experience God’s supernatural healing. 

If you’re a Believer in Christ, having received His provision for eternal life, He’s already done a supernatural work in you.

While I’ve been asking Jesus how I can touch His clothes today, He’s graciously reminded me of the following that I would like to share:

• He created us specifically and intimately for His purposes. Psalm 139:13-16

For You created my inmost being; 

You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. 

My frame was not hidden from You 

when I was made in the secret place, 

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

all the days ordained for me were written in 

Your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

• Our body doesn’t belong to us. It belongs to Him. The woman who touched His clothes didn’t have the Holy Spirit living inside of her like we do. It wasn’t until after Jesus ascended into Heaven following His resurrection, that He sent His Holy Spirit. As a Believer, you and I have the Holy Spirit living within us.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple 

of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have 

from God, and that you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19

I have good and bad days physically. I’m learning that on my worse days to thank Him for His strength and power that’s inside of me. 

When I simply praise Him for being my strength, something supernatural takes place.

He wows me every time as I experience His strength and vitality that I know doesn’t come from my own abilities.

Like Paul, I believe with all my heart that God can instantly heal me or someone I’m praying for. At times, He has, but never in the same way or in the way I expected Him to.

• That the Apostle Paul had his own personal struggle.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my Power is made perfect in weakness. 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly 

about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, 

in insults, in hardships in persecutions, in difficulties. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

If God doesn’t heal me like He did the woman who touched His clothes, it’s not because He can’t or won’t. He has a greater purpose. While I’d be overjoyed to experience complete physical healing, there’s a greater joy in knowing Him and living in His constant fellowship and presence in my life, which surpasses all other things. 

So, in truth, I’ve already reached out and touched Him, and received something far greater than physical healing.

Have you?

Like Paul, I want to forget what is behind me as I strain and press onward toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

Don’t you?

I don’t want to get snagged or become stagnant because of my physical limitations, but rather, experience His joy, peace and rest because of them.

I'm a work in progress. 

Will you join me in following Paul’s example to stay the course no matter what?

I invite you to share below in the comments area your thoughts. 

What are your struggles and victories in the area of healing?

Staying the course,

Terri

Photos courtesy of Pixabay @ www.pixabay.com

Who Touched My Clothes?

by Terri Webster

I’ve been thinking a lot about the woman who was “subject to bleeding” (Mark 5:25) for 12 long years. She suffered so much that she spent all she had on many doctors, with no improvement. As a matter of fact, she became worse.

Her story hits home with me, to my very core. Especially the way the Gospel of Mark tells it. 

We don’t know her name or anything else about her aside from her physical suffering. We’re not really sure what the issue of bleeding was. I assume it had something to do with her female reproductive system. 

Without going into any details, I can imagine what she had endured. Perhaps it caused her to be barren, unable to have children.

Chronic physical suffering impacts mental, emotional and spiritual health. She was desperate.

Is this you? It’s me.

It seems that the majority of women I know suffer from some type of chronic illness. There are too many to name them all, but they have a common base name: AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE. This encompasses everything from every form of painful arthritis, depression and fibromyalgia to Lupus, Sjogren’s Disease, thyroid and many more.

Is this you? It’s me.

Our unnamed friend we meet in Mark 5:25-34, suffered too, with a chronic illness. She was desperate enough to spend all her money on doctors, only to become sicker.

Is that you? It’s me.

News about Jesus had spread and she knew He was passing through her town. She believed all she’d heard about Him. While a large crowd surrounded Jesus, she put feet to her faith and became part of the large crowd following Him through the town...

...while thinking to herself, If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed. She must have been stretching her arms out, reaching and groping while being pushed and shoved in the crowd. 

Then, finally, she made contact with His clothes. One hand, both hands, it didn’t matter. She touched his clothes.

Immediately her bleeding stopped 

and she felt in her body that she was freed 

from her suffering. Mark 5:29

Jesus felt it too. He stopped walking. Turned around and asked, Who touched my clothes? Mark 5:30

I imagine her eyes became big as saucers or as we say in the south, “like a deer caught in headlights”. What she thought would go unnoticed in a large, noisy crowd, caught Jesus’ attention.

His disciples even said to Jesus, You see the people crowding against you and yet you ask,‘Who touched me?' Mark 5:31

She stood silently, while Jesus kept looking around, insisting someone had touched Him because He felt the power leave His body.

Finally, our fellow sufferer came forward. Falling at His feet in fear, she admitted it was her, explaining the whole truth.

His response?

Daughter, 

your faith has healed you. 

Go in peace 

and be freed from your suffering. Mark 5:34

Healed. Peace. Free from suffering.

Is this what you want? Need?

I do.

I’ve spent a lot of money on different doctors. Educated myself. Tried everything. I’ve found some relief. But managing chronic pain, while pushing through it every single day is exhausting. It affects my mental, emotional and spiritual health.

You too?

What else is there left to do? How can we “touch His clothes” today?

I believe in His unhindered, healing power. I know Him and His matchless, saving love. He bore all my sin, suffering and pain hanging there on the cross. He was buried, perhaps in the same clothes, our friend touched the day her suffering ended.

Those clothes were divided among His killers.

I can’t stop thinking about this woman and her faith. She was able to physically touch Him. Their eyes met as He spoke directly to her.

Today, we have His very spirit and life living inside us as Believers.

The same power she experienced that day by touching His clothes, lives inside us!

So, how can we touch His clothes today?

It’s a lot to wrap our minds around. I’m not going to suggest a "pat" answer, but stop here. I'll continue next week, while I am still reaching out to Him, putting my feet to my faith.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share in the comments area below or email me directly by filing out the form on the right.

Staying the course,

Terri

Hope While Enduring Sorrow: It's Okay to Laugh Again

by Terri Webster

Sorrow and grief are a relentless pair. When you see one, you’ll see the other tagging along, usually accompanied by pain and loss.

Who hasn’t known sorrow? Who hasn’t known grief? We all have, right? 

When we experience deep loss and sorrow, we may feel our lives are shattered beyond repair. Those events are like seeds that sprout roots, reaching deep into our soul, leaving our lives forever changed.

When I read 2 Corinthians 4:17, For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all, I struggle a little. My “light and momentary troubles,” haven’t always felt light and definitely not momentary.

Or when I read Psalm 30:5, Weeping may stay the night, but joy comes in the morning, I do find comfort in this promise, but, oh, how I wish weeping was only for one night.

Someone you love tragically dies, or your spouse leaves you for another. Maybe you endured childhood abuse, or abuse from someone you trusted. Perhaps a grown child suffers from mental illness or substance abuse, and you wonder if you’ll see them again on this side of Heaven.

Then, one day from out of nowhere, you catch yourself laughing again. ‘Oops!’ You suddenly feel guilty for enjoying a light moment. You feel you’re being disrespectful to the cause of your sorrow and grief.

To consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us, (Romans 8:18), can seem unthinkable. But that’s what we’re encouraged to do.  

And while we’re considering it, let’s also look deep

into Isaiah 53:3-5.

He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows, 

acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on 

Him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we 

did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; 

it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. And we 

thought His troubles were a punishment from God, 

a punishment for His own sins! But He was pierced 

for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so 

we could be whole. He was whipped so we 

could be healed. (NLT)

Jesus suffered with great sorrow, as He took on Himself, the very pain and grief we experience. He not only did it for our sin and rebellion, but also for what He knew we’d endure in our life here.

We can have hope for our future and experience His joy in light of eternity. And yes, even laugh at the days to come, just like the woman in Proverbs 31:25, She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Here’s the solid truth: Eighty or 90 years of life here, can’t be compared to eternity with Him. But while we’re here, we can gain healing and strength, following a traumatic life event and enjoy genuine joy. We can and will laugh again.

When sorrow tries to creep back into the places Jesus has already touched, I know my perspective needs adjusting. I need to look heavenward and allow God’s perspective to overshadow my short-sighted, human perspective. 

When I do, then I can say, ‘weeping really does last a night, and joy comes in the morning,’ and be encouraged that what I’ve endured here on earth is accomplishing eternal purposes that outweighs them all. 

What about you? How do you find joy again, when sorrow and grief have changed your life forever? 

I pray that whatever sorrows you've known, you'll discover the hope and comfort only God can give. 

Staying the course,
Terri

Photos courtesy of Pixabay.com

Take the Time

by Terri Webster

Sometimes you need to be alone. All alone. With Jesus.

I used to think I didn't have the time. I believed the misconception that being alone with Him was a luxury; a misuse of my time. Unproductive.

I would feel guilty if I drove to a nearby park to enjoy a walk or just sit in the quiet of my car and pray. 

Not anymore. 

When I need to be refreshed from within or I'm seeking direction about something, I can't afford NOT to take the time to be alone with Jesus. He's ready to provide the refreshment my soul longs for and guidance along the right path for me to take. 

What about you? Do you need a fresh touch? Are you wondering what path to take? I encourage you to take 10 minutes, 20 or more to be alone with Him. He will refresh your soul and guide you along the path that you should go, as promised in Psalm 23:3.

He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name's sake.

This is how I stay the course, 

Terri

Green Space

by Terri Webster

Are you busy? Is this a good time to talk?

How many times have we asked a friend or family member either of those two questions?

What I’ve thought a lot about lately, though, is how I would respond if God asked me, “Hey, are you busy? Is this a good time for us to talk?”

I used to always be too busy.

It hurts my heart to think of all the times I’ve given Him my leftovers.

Today, I want to encourage you to take a little time out of your busyness and let the Lord give you what the world can’t.  

Pull off the main road on your way to work or on the way home, and sit in your car a few minutes. Or take a short walk somewhere. 

Shift your focus. Look up, instead of around. Sit with Him, talk to Him, give Him your cares.

Then think of one thing you can be thankful for. It could very well chart the course of your day. 

Stay the course with me,

Terri

Depending on God

by Terri Webster

When I was a single mom, depending on God became tangible.

Meaning, I depended on Him for the basics of necessities; food, shelter, water.

My dependence grew exponentially, as I also relied on Him for justice, healing of my broken heart and sanity for each day.

Those were tough years, putting it mildly.  

Today, while I know all my provision flows from and through Him, I no longer am in the posture of daily exercising that faith muscle. I take care, though, not to let it become flabby because I hope to never need to work it out like I did in my younger days.

However, if not for those years, I’m convinced there is no other way for me to know the intimate, compassionate, care and unfailing love of the Father’s heart, the way I came to know Father God’s.

Experiencing all I did during those years, also led me to the heart of Jesus in a fresh way, as I said yes to His proposal to be my Husband.

I was already saved, born again, but those dark days caused me to know Him in ways I wouldn’t know Him otherwise.

I stumbled and fumbled through. Made my share of mistakes. Struggled with doubt, unbelief, fits of rage and distancing myself from God.

Thankfully, He never budged. His love never changed in my ever-changing world.

Are you walking through dark times today, through a whirlwind of changes?

Dealing with a broken heart, injustice, loss, sorrow?

I write to you from the other side of a life forever changed by pain and hardship with nothing but encouragement and hope to offer you.

First, there’s no way you can muster up enough strength, self-will or spiritual ability to endure. Maybe for a day or two. But that isn’t lasting endurance. That may sound like bad news to you.

I have far better news!

Dear friend, you were never meant to dig deep within yourself to find all of that, as the world will tell you. Eventually you’ll come to the bottom of yourself. Then what?

Your shoulders weren’t designed to carry the weight of others AND your own burdens.

In a world completely void of stability, God’s unfailing love is unchanging. The shifting ground under your feet and unpredictable circumstances you’re in, are no match for His power to settle and sturdy you, as He walks alongside you.

How does this become your reality?

In His Word, the Bible; that book the world tells you is not worth your time, you can take hold of and apply His truths to the depths of your need, permeating, going where only He can go.

There was a time when I wasn’t sure I would ever say this, but joyfully, the time has come. God’s Word, the Bible, full of His rich promises and truth, has been tried and proven, over and over again in my life. His promises can be trusted. (Psalm 12:6)

I’ll share just a few with you today (there are too many for one little blog post).

• Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Placing our burdens on Jesus, results in rest, even while in the storm.

• Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

The darker the path, the brighter His truth shines.

• But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Waiting isn’t easy, but the promised rewards are priceless.

• Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Today, whatever state you’re in, dark, light, good, bad, come to Him, just as you are. Pick up Your Bible, and allow Him to tell you deeper things you otherwise wouldn’t know.  

Dependently staying the course,

Terri

What Am I Responsible For?

What am I responsible for?

At what point do I let go and turn over the reins to the Great I Am? And how do I know when it’s time to step up to the plate? And swing?

Where is the balance between working as if it all depended on me and releasing the burden of it all on the One who initiated this thing to begin with?

Where does the inspiration and fervent desire to work for Him come from? It was once there; where did it go?

And will it come back?

And… inspiration to do what?

Go back to school?

Start that ministry?

Change careers?

Paint?                                                       

Write?

Make music?

Today I read an awesome blog post written by my long-distance friend Julie Dibble. I encourage you to read it here: 

Julie Dibble Writes

She asked this question at the end of her post:

"Do you feel responsible for things belonging to God?"

My answer was a resounding, “Yes!”

I learned at a young age how to shoulder everyone else’s responsibilities. It’s very difficult to stop. I did stop, but at some point in the middle of rush, took it back.

Maybe that’s what depletes my inspiration and fervent desire to fulfill His plan and purpose for me. 

Maybe that’s when depression comes.

What about you?

Are you carrying the burden of responsibility of something that belongs to God? Or someone else? 

That thing that you must make sure turns out the way it’s “supposed” to?

In addition to the responsibilities that really ARE yours?

Feeling overwhelmed now?

This is the point where we may need to let go of some things. Those things we THINK we have control over, but really don’t. And never will.

So we might as well cut ourselves some slack; let it go into His more-than capable, big, strong hands.

Now to Him who is able to carry out His purpose 

and do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask 

or think, [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, 

or dreams], according to His power that is at work 

within us. Ephesians 3:20 (AMP)

Stop here. Breathe. Now let’s go back and slowly read the above verse again.

This covers just about everything, doesn’t it?

This is where we find balance. Letting go.

As we let go, the scales begin to tip back toward the side that Jesus holds.

Ahhh, I feel a sense of relief. And a glimmer of inspiration and desire.

With all the fervor and love that fills my heart for you, I pray you do too, and that the floodgates open up for you.

I'd love to hear from you if you feel comfortable commenting below. Or you can always email me using the form on the right side of this page. 

We can stay the course together,

Terri

Counting The Days...and Hours

This time next week…at exactly this time, on this day, I’ll be…

Have you ever been so excited about an event that you count the days and hours until it happens?

A road trip. That beach vacation. Your wedding day. Birth of a baby?

And when the event comes and goes, in remembrance of the special occasion, you say to yourself…”this time last week, I was…” and then you sigh, longing to be back in that time.

That’s me today.

I’ve been counting the weeks and days ever since plans were made six weeks ago.

Last month, my husband and I were traveling home on Interstate 20 east from Mississippi to Georgia. My dad lives in Mississippi and we’d gone to attend my Uncle Don’s funeral. My dad is the youngest of seven, at 82 years young. He has one surviving brother, Uncle Bob, who lives in northern Arkansas. Uncle Bob is 89, I think, and was also at his brother’s funeral.

While we were all together, Uncle Bob kept inviting me to come visit him and his wife Wilma in Mountain Home, Arkansas. The day before we all left, Uncle Bob repeatedly said, “I dare you. I dare you to come and visit us.” 

It was quite endearing, irresistible and well, don’t dare me to do something because I'm likely to accept.

My dad and all his siblings grew up in Mt. Ida, Arkansas, except for a 10-year gig in New Mexico, during the 1940’s.

Throughout my childhood, during the 1960s and early ‘70s, we visited my grandparents in this tiny Arkansas town, where they still lived in the old rock house on the hilltop of a dirt road, far off the beaten path.

We’d travel from northern Arkansas, where we lived at the time,

winding through the Ozark Mountains southward to Mt. Ida, to visit my grandparents. They must have heard the gravel and dirt road come to life, beneath our car tires, because they’d always be waiting on the porch to greet us, as my parents, my two brothers and I approached their house.

Oh, the memories! A time when life was simple and exploring the outdoors filled our days.

So, as my husband and I drove home, six weeks ago, he suggested that if I was ever going to visit my uncle in Arkansas, the time was now. That’s when plans unfolded to take my dad with us, so he could give us the grand tour of Mt. Ida, then head north to Uncle Bob’s.

The bittersweet reality is, this will most likely be the last time my dad and I will see Mt. Ida, and visit his brother in Mountain Home.

Why am I so excited about going back to Mt. Ida, Arkansas, that I’m counting the days and hours before we leave?

And why would I think it’s interesting enough to share it with you?

Well, I could use a little bit of escape and distraction from all the crazy going on today. Couldn’t you?

I’m going to take a step back in time to when kids got dirty, swam in creeks and ate grandma’s fried chicken on a river bank.

I'm also inviting my brothers and all my cousins who share the same sentiments of Grandma and Grandpa Jackson, the old rock house in Mt. Ida and all it represents, to escape their daily busyness and join me and my dad on our upcoming Arkansas Adventure 2017.

So, this time next week, the adventure begins, as we head west on Interstate 20.

Until then, let’s stay the course with this:

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children. Psalm 103:17

Love,

Terri

(Photos courtesy of Pixabay - www.pixabay.com)

Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part I

Greetings to any and all who may be reading this. 

A lot has happened since my last post on Valentine's Day, 2017.

I'm sharing today about where I've been with the hope that you will be encouraged.

This post is in two parts, with the second piece coming tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I despise that town. I stay away as much as possible.”

“Why?”

“Too many bad memories. Everywhere I go, 

I’m reminded of 19 years worth of ‘em.”

This is often my conversation with someone about a nearby town where I lived for 23 years.

Lots of good things happened there. First house, my daughter was born there, and we had great friends and was part of an amazing church family. 

While living in this town, I also experienced the betrayal of infidelity between my husband and best friend from church.

Left with my precious children, then 15-months old and six years, divorce followed. 

Foreclosure, bankruptcy.

When I ended the revolving-door of insanity with my ex and his out-of-control life, setting boundaries, things intensified with him. 

Emotional, verbal and mental abuse.

Believable threats.

Scenes in various places like those on that TV show COPS.

Living in fear. Lies. Injustices. 

These memories surface, along with apparent undealt-with brokenness, everytime I go to that town.

In spite of the bad, my relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, deepened during those years. When I thought my stretched-out faith couldn’t be stretched one more milli-speck, He would show up, which caused my faith to stretch all the more.

He lavished me with grace and forgiveness for my mistakes. He turned vision for ministry into physical reality. He called me out over deep waters to the mission field; opened doors to opportunities and experiences that I otherwise would never have had…

…if I hadn’t gone through the pain and hardship…

if I hadn’t experienced the abuse.

And at one of the lowest points in my 16^th year as

a single mom, He penned, When All Seems Lost, a poem I wrote that eventually became a song.

Then I wrote a book. Two actually.

God has definitely taken the bad stuff and turned it into His good purposes. All that happened was a long time ago and sounds like I have healed and moved on to amazing things. 

While this is mostly true, the other truth is, I haven’t. Not fully. 

The rush of life, work, raising kids, and saying yes to endless volunteering opportunities, has let me unintentionally avoid dealing with painful memories. 

So where have I been these past five months, since my last blog post? Where did I go? 

I went into time out. 

I quit writing. I quit all social media venues, except one I visited occasionally. I said, “no” to every volunteer opportunity.

I quit scheduling stuff, and cramming my days with pressure to do this, do that, get IT done, get more page views, followers and comments. 

My want-to quit on me too. In a state of exhaustion, I felt the unravel begin.

Marital irritants became monumental. I began to disengage from everything important.

I questioned...

• Will my marriage survive?
• Will the ministry survive?
• Has God really called me to write?
• Did I really hear Him say......

Some days ended with me crashing in bed before dinner.

Add to that the ongoing sorrow of my son’s mental illness and estrangement, I was done.

Then in March the news came. My bestie of 25 years, mentor and sister in Christ (the one on the left) suddenly had a stroke and lay in the hospital on life support. She wasn’t going to make it.

A seven-hour drive to say goodbye, followed by her passing, left me depleted and emotionally spent. 

No doubt that my current life, compounded with past years of undealt-with hurts had caught up with me. 

All I seemed to be able to hear from God was, 

“Terri, stop! Get quiet. Be still.”

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Gladly, Lord. Gladly."

My Father put me in time out. 

During my alone time with God, my prayers went from presenting requests, with stress-infused petitions, to two things:

“Lord, that I would hear Your voice, 

and be filled with Your spirit.”

Was I in trouble and needed to be disciplined? Or was my time out like those called by coaches to discuss strategy and a new game plan? I discovered it was some of both.

Meet me back here tomorrow to find out how my Rescuer, Jesus, showed up. 

If you are on the brink of quitting, hang on! If you're burned out and over committed, there's hope.

Until tomorrow, I leave you with this song: WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST

Staying the course,

Terri