Time Alone with God

by Terri Webster

How is your year going? Are you ready to see 2017 fade away and start 2018 with a clean slate?

For some of you it’s been a tough year. Some hard stuff mixed in with the good.

This is the time when I begin asking the Lord what my word/theme will be for next year to represent my quiet time with Him. 2018 will begin year three of intentionally setting aside time alone with Him every day.

It’s not because I’m so godly and mature, but because I was hungry and desperate.

Are you hungry? Feeling empty; like there must be more to this life; more to this Christian life?

A year ago I shared with you about this new venture with the Lord, which began two years ago. In my blog post titled, Color Your Year, posted December 19, 2016, I explain in more detail.

Before reading further you can catch up by reading Color Your Year here, then pop back over for today’s post.

Color Your Year

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quiet time, devotion and Bible reading. We call it different things, but it’s that daily block of time set aside for time alone with Jesus.

This is something I’ve discovered I’m desperate for. I must have it.

Like water is necessary for my body, so is my time alone with Jesus, His word, prayer and writing in my journal.

The past two years have been life-changing. My life’s circumstances haven’t changed, but I have. The change isn’t complete, but will take the rest of my life.

It’s a process.

Throughout the years of my life with Jesus, I’ve always known I needed to spend time with Him. At times my efforts were minimal. I thought as long as I opened my Bible, sat in His presence, read a devotion of the day, then prayed a little that this was enough to grow and change me; enough to know Him.

It wasn’t until the end of 2015, that I became aware of my great need. I couldn’t continue doing the same thing and expect change.

January 1, 2016 was a new day of a new month of a new year. I was focused and ready to make my time with the Lord top priority and yielded to Him in a fresh way.

Ten minutes a day turned into 30, when before I knew it, my “dates” with Jesus became the fastest hour or more gone by of every day!

The room above our garage has become my HAPPY place, even with the hard, disciplining, pruning and burning off the dross by His refining fire. 

I’m nowhere near where I need to be, but learning to simply BE with Him, and let Him do His work in me is priceless. It’s not my work, but HIS.

What relief it is!

How is your daily quiet time with God? If you don’t have a regular time set apart for time alone with Him, I encourage you to begin plans to make this a priority in your day. This is where you’ll find direction, healing and peace that the world will never provide. This is where the change you’re longing for takes place.

The Lover of your soul waits for you. He will never NOT show up.

I encourage you today, to step outside of the noise and busyness for a moment to ask Him for a word/or theme to represent your time with Him for 2018. When He shows you, (and He will), set up your personal space that’s just for you and Jesus. Let Him surprise you!

I invite you to share your thoughts too and how you spend your time alone with Him. Also, feel free to email me by using the form on the right side of this page to ask questions or request prayer.

Staying the course from surprise to surprise,

Terri

Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part 2

Welcome back friends!

If you were here yesterday, you know that today’s post is part two of Stop! Get Quiet…be still.

If you missed yesterday’s post, catch up here: Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part I

I left you, waiting to see how God showed up in the midst of my recent unraveling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dreaded the long drive back home from the Florida town where my dear friend had just gone home to be with Jesus.

The days following are a blur.

The disconnection between my husband and me lingered. I continued with the usual; work, keeping grandbabies, ministry, the rush of life, while numerous volunteer needs at church continually beckoned me.

I’ve always struggled with saying “yes” when I should say “no”. Saying yes to doing good things isn’t always God’s best.

I’d once read Lysa Terkeurst’s, The Best Yes, and realized I needed to read it again.  

If you struggle with over commitment, I encourage you to read her book. You can purchase it here: The Best Yes

Have you ever been physically exhausted and soul tired; not sooo tired, but SOUL tired, where one more thing would’ve completed the unraveling?

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, 

and I will give you rest. Taky My yoke upon you and learn from Me, 

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28 (NKJV)

When did rest become a luxury instead of necessity?

I hope by sharing the following steps I took to stop the unraveling, will help you if you are in a similar mess.

First, I stopped.

I stopped my volunteer stuff at church and worrying about what others thought about it. I stopped rushing everywhere, barely arriving on time.

I stopped filling the margins of leftover time with lunches and other “fun” things.

I stopped looking at my phone every five minutes. I didn’t realize how addicted I was to my phone.

I stopped asking God questions and overthinking everything.

I got quiet.

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV)

I spent time with Him; in His word, waiting to hear what He would say, rather than me doing all the talking. This calmed the constant chatter in my head. My only prayer for several weeks was, 

"Lord, that I would hear Your voice and be filled with Your spirit."

In the quiet I was able to hear Him say,

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, 

and He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 

I have called you by your name; You are Mine. Isaiah 43:1

I drove with the radio off most of the time. No news or music.

The more I focused on what God said, the less my thoughts clamored about how to fix and control everything.

I got still.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)

Did you know it’s okay to not have to go somewhere or do something productive, every waking minute?

I sat still on our porch. No phone or tablet allowed.

Being still isn’t only a physical act, but a stillness deep within. Physical rest requires being still, but soul rest, is an inner work that only God can do.

At first I had to be intentional to not succumb to the urges that I always need to be doing something.

While being still before God, I allowed myself to mourn my friend.

Instead of fearing my son’s mental illness, I allowed myself to grieve, then relinquish him completely to his Almighty Father, and trust Him, who is able to accomplish the impossible.

...do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the 

salvation of the Lord, which He will 

accomplish for you today. Exodus 14:13

During my time out, I accepted an invitation for a short beach getaway with several girlfriends. Nothing fancy. A tiny, old block house that we filled with lots of laughter and memories.

I know not everyone can go to the beach, but maybe there’s a nearby area you can escape to for a day or even a few hours.

Jesus did.

He went out and departed to a solitary 

place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35

My husband and I departed on a long weekend getaway and reconnected.

Work and chores still needed to be done, but during these weeks I rediscovered His peace and rest.

Remember the nearby town I mentioned yesterday that I despise? When I have to go or pass through it, and a flashback invades my thoughts, I allow the memory. Then I thank God for His working it for His purpose of healing and restoration. It's ah-may-zing the power that has! I'm sure that soon I will love that old town again.

As my time-out season comes to an end, the process continues. I have a new game plan, a different strategy. I expect that in the near future, I'll be sharing some of those strategies with you.
My friend, if you're feeling the melt down coming, unraveling, freaking out, overwhelmed and exhausted, you are not alone. As I type these words, I'm praying for you. Go to the The One who will give you rest. Learn from Him. Give Him your choking yoke and replace it with His.

Then you can say with me, I know the best is yet to come.

Staying the course together,
Terri

When Goal-Setting Becomes a Chore

Last week I wrote about setting goals for 2017, as a guest writer on another blog. I shared how I was deeply inspired about the process of writing down our goals, and then displaying them where they're seen regularly.

Before moving on, you will want to read last week’s guest post here: Say Goodbye to Procrastination then pop back over to finish this post.

Setting goals every year has been a challenge for me. More like a failed challenge. I’d start out fast and furious, then fizzle by the end of January. Before I knew it, December was here and the end of another year of unfulfilled goals.

In case you struggle with the same thing, I’m going to tell you about where I am in the process. I hope that what I share today will encourage you to do the same thing.

I feel so strongly about this, that I plan to revisit this subject every couple of months so that we can all see where we are in our goals. 

This can provide accountability, even if it’s just for me.

Last week, I was inspired and excited as I typed out my 2017 goals.

However, I didn’t complete the last step; printing them out and displaying them where I’d see them regularly.

They stayed on my computer buried deep within my documents folder.  

Why didn’t I follow through with the last step? I could say “life happened” which is the most common excuse we all use when something doesn’t get done.

Something else happened too. This goal-setting document that I completed with such fervor was quickly falling into the memory banks in my brain, titled, Forgetfulness.

Several days ago I ran into the pastor who inspired me to write out my goals. Small talk led to the subject of goal setting and I realized I was already forgetting and moving on with my life apart from my God-inspired goals. 

I knew if I didn’t revisit this very important document, I’d find myself in the busyness of the Christmas season again, without having met any of my goals for 2017.

When I read my goals document, I realized something very important that I left out. It was something the pastor urged us to also write down.

What is it I really want? 
What is important to me?
What do I value? 

I’ve prayed and asked the Lord to line my wants and desires up with His, and lesson those desires in my heart that aren’t from Him. As I prayed this, things began to shift.

Some things that I assumed I should be doing fell to the bottom of my list, while those things at the bottom moved to the top.

This was a surprise to me. An even bigger surprise is the relief I felt; like the lifting of burdens. The burden of what I assume other’s expectations of me are. The burden of trying to push open certain doors that maybe God isn’t wanting to open. The burden of frustration I’ve felt by trying to accomplish certain goals and projects because I thought I had to.

Today I trust God’s answer to my request to line my wants and desires up with His. I can now set goals based on what I value most and on the desires God has now stirred in my heart.

As you sit down and write out your 2017 goals, I encourage you to first, get quiet and still with the Lord. Ask Him to line up your wants and desires with His. 

Let go of all preconceived notions and ideals you’ve had, and lay them down before Him. He will surely answer and clarify your priorities and goals He wants you to reach for 2017.

As He stirs your heart, and quickens desires in accordance to His will, then it’s okay to set your goals based on those desires and what's important to you.

This process has been freeing for me. I hope it will for you too. 


I invite you to share in the comments below. If you have any questions, of course, you can also contact me by email by filling the email form on the right side of this page.

As you set your goals for this coming year, may you find renewed vision and purpose, as God refreshes and fills you with His desires for your life.

…staying the course,

Terri

Snow is Coming! Be Prepared...Stay Alert

I live in the southeast; Georgia, to be exact. At this writing, weather

forecasts are predicting snow and ice with possible accumulations of two to four inches.

This is a big deal for us folks in the southeast. So much so that everyone is rushing out to the store for last-minute food items and supplies, just in case the forecasters are right.

My inbox is filling up with severe weather alerts, detailing the predictions and what to do to prepare and stay alert.

Social media is blasted with winter storm warnings and we’re all strongly advised to get and stay off the roads.

As you all know, we southerners, are not as skilled at driving in these weather conditions as our northern friends.

We’re the brunt of many jokes. Many of them are us joking about ourselves. We say things like, “better hurry and get that bread, milk and toilet paper before it’s all gone.”

You see others buying comfort foods, stocking up on junk food and ingredients to make big pots of soup and chili as if we’re going to be stranded in our homes for days and days.

Grocery store shelves will quickly become bare. Finding a loaf of bread and gallon of milk will be a challenge.

The panic is real.

Meteorologists can’t get their predictions perfect every time. There have been times when snow predictions turned into nothing but rain or a dusting at most.

Then there have been more times than not, when those who didn’t take the predictions seriously and stay off the roads, are the very ones who had to abandon their cars on interstates and side roads. 

They’re the ones we see on the news, sliding and crashing into each other in their cars, while those of us who stayed alert and prepared were safe in the comfort of our homes.

They laughed and made light of it. “What’s a little snow”, they’d say? “It won’t stick on the roads.” Others would brag about how well they drive in icy, snowy conditions and made light of predictions.

As I listen to the forecasters right now and read headlines concerning the inevitable snow storm, I will prepare myself accordingly and make sure we have plenty of coffee because we can't run out of coffee in case we're homebound for days. 

Seriously, though, I’ll take precautions, stay alert and be prepared.

The excitement and panic over the weather predictions cause me to think about another prediction that is clear to us. It is given by Almighty God, in His written word, the Bible. 

This prediction is Jesus’ return. It’s also called the Second Coming or you hear people say, “Jesus is coming back.”

The coming of the Son of Man will be like what 

happened in the time of Noah. Matthew 24:37

There are some who laugh and mock; those who ignore and those who give no thought to these predictions.

In the days before the flood, people ate and drank, 

men and women married, up to the very day Noah went 

into the boat; yet they did not realize what was happening 

until the flood came and swept them all away. Matthew 24:38-39

Ladies, may we be ever mindful, watching for His return, ready and alert. Let’s not succumb to the temporary cares of this world so much so that we lose sight of His coming again to take us unto Him for eternity.

Are you among those who take God’s word lightly, half believing what He’s revealed to us? Or are you getting prepared and ready like the bride that you are; watchful and alert for your Groom? 

More than ever, I am seeing women rise up to the call to pray and seek the Lord, being watchful and alert. We can’t afford not to in these days we’re living in.

Let’s all together, near and far, begin today, with a new and fresh intention to set our eyes and hearts on eternity, preparing and watching for our coming King, Heavenly Husband, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I can’t wait!

Staying the course with eyes on Him,

Terri

When Being Thankful is Difficult

Being thankful during this time of year can be difficult for some. Especially if you’re newly single, divorced or simply longing for a special person to share the holidays with.

Hardships are magnified. When it’s all you can do to keep the bills paid, buying a Thanksgiving turkey with all the trimmings can be burdensome, knowing that budgeting for Christmas is just around the corner.

Family conflicts can also suck the joy out of holiday gatherings.

As Thanksgiving approaches this coming week, for some of you it might be a reminder of some things lost, rather than things to be thankful for.

This season marks a lot of losses for me. Dating back to November of 1988, my divorce was final, just days before Thanksgiving.

Several years later before the holidays, my house was foreclosed on and we had to move.

As a single mom, money was already tight, but the holidays added extra financial pressure.

I remember another time when my kids and I had to move right before Christmas because the house we rented was sold right after Thanksgiving.

Two years ago, my mother-in-law passed away two weeks before Thanksgiving. That same year I had my last Thanksgiving meal with my Mom, as she passed away 12 days before Christmas.

What does this time of year mean for you? Do you have mixed emotions of nostalgia and sadness or does it mean all things cozy and wonderful?

Are you full of thanksgiving and gratitude or are you having a difficult time finding something to be thankful for?

As I mentioned above, some of the hardest times of my life were during the holidays, beginning with Thanksgiving. 

But as sure as I sit here today, I remember those were the times when God leaned in close and intimate, meeting me in the midst of my mess, filling me with gratitude that could only come from Him.

The Lord would always allow me to see someone else whose difficulties were worse than mine. I never had to look far to see someone whose struggles and hardships were far worse.

I read somewhere that making a gratitude list could have a thankful-snowball effect.

So I tried it.

I started with one simple thing. It snowballed from there. A sunny day. A roof over our heads. My kids. My job. Good friends and church family. Coffee. (Yes, coffee too)

You might feel like the things you should be thankful for, you're not. Don't pretend. Move on to that one simple thing for which you are grateful. 

Once I began my list I discovered I could keep going till the cows came home. (a southern expression)

This list was a mighty focus changer. All these little things I was thankful for I realized were provided by God. My greatest and most humble of all things I was thankful for was my salvation in Jesus Christ and personal relationship with Him.

Out of that would flow peace and comfort during the most difficult times. I’d end up awestruck at the goodness of God in my life no matter what my temporary circumstances were.

So what about you? Whether things are on the upside or you’re in a dark time, today is a great time to begin your list. Start with the simplest of things and go from there.

I'm going to start a new list. I really am. 

So grab a pen and a notebook and let’s get started.

May you discover the joy of a thankful heart. I pray God’s comfort and compassion overwhelm you as He turns your desert into a garden. And I pray joy and gladness are yours this coming Thanksgiving and beyond.

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look 

with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts 

like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. 

Joy and gladness will be found in her, 

thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Isaiah 51:3

Staying the course with a thankful heart,

Terri

The Aftermath

It’s difficult to write a relative blog post in the aftermath of this past week. We’ve witnessed and experienced a historical event of epic proportions.

I confess, I’ve been distracted and enthralled by the events following the election of our next President of the United States.

I am humbly grateful to have the honor and privilege to be able to vote in this country and exercise my freedoms.

As the past week has unfolded, my focus is blurred. My attention is challenged by my attempts to ignore social media and restrain from commenting.

Some Americans’ hopes are dashed. Some are celebrating. Some are appalled and saddened while some feel a sense of relief and hope.

We’ve seen images of distraught young women, college students and adults running violently rampant throughout our cities.

This causes me to be deeply alarmed.

Those who place their hope in one person to solve the problems of our country, are setting themselves up for profound disillusionment and disappointment.

It’s like building your life’s foundation on top of quick sand. You never know when you’re going to sink down into the earth with no hope in sight.

The old hymn written by Edward Mote, The Solid Rock, comes to mind. We sang it in church this morning and I’ve been hearing it in my head all day.

The first verse of the song goes like this: 

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood 

and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, 

but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

The chorus continues:

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand; all other ground is 

sinking sand…all other ground is sinking sand.

This is where true peace and assurance that God is in control is found.

While standing firmly secure on this foundation, we are then able to pray for those who lead us, and trust Almighty God with the outcomes.

Will you stand with me on this foundation? As women in need, this is what we truly need. To be firmly and securely held by our Heavenly Father who has everything all worked out.

Will you trust the Lord Jesus Christ with me as we forge ahead with fresh determination to be all about God’s business while He tends to ours?

Will you pray with me for our newly elected President who has an exponential task set before him?

Will you work with me to spread the good news of Jesus Christ to all who will hear and become one of His own?

Now is the time to stay the course more than ever!

Terri

Keeping Up Appearances

I learned at an early age how to bury emotions and pretend things didn’t bother or hurt me. What I portrayed to my peers, was only what I wanted them to see. These pretensions followed me throughout my teen years into adulthood.

Whatever our current situation is, usually determines how pressured we feel to put up a front to hide our struggles and problems. 

The pressure to keep up with our neighbors or appear a certain way to our peers, doesn’t go away at age 21 or when we finish school, start our careers, marry and have children.

I think women struggle with this more than men. We compare ourselves ruthlessly to others and the head talk begins. 

She has the perfect body, prettier face, perfect parents, 

perfect house. Her husband is perfect, perfect kids, perfect

family, perfect job. Plenty of money. Nice furniture. 

And did you see those shiny appliances?

We then begin our lifelong quest to be like those who we think are perfect, not realizing they have their own struggles and problems. 

When I was a young Christian, I looked up to godly women who’d walked this road ahead of me and were mature in their relationship with Christ.

They had it together. Home, marriage, kids, and outward appearance was neatly packaged into what I thought being a godly woman looked like.

They could quote scripture and knew all the important biblical stories. They attended every church function, volunteered and made homemade granola and play dough with their kids.

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with all those things. But there was never any talk about struggles with sin or getting too deep with personal problems. So I thought being a Christian meant you no longer had serious problems.

Living in the southeast, I think, also adds to the expectations of what a godly Christian woman's life looks like.

Keeping up appearances is exhausting. It’s something you’d only expect with non-Christians or those who don’t have a personal relationship with Christ.

We’re surrounded by people every day working hard to keep up appearances, while struggling with the real stuff of life; past hurts, mistakes, dark secrets all buried deep down. 

In my late twenties, I went through a devastating divorce and became a single parent. Foreclosure, bankruptcy and a car repossession was hard to hide.

So much for keeping up appearances, right? Those were just the material things. There was still the emotional pain and shame to deal with.

This marked the point in my life where things got real with Jesus. My messy problems got bigger, and my struggles were many. I learned that my God was bigger still. 

Life can change in a day. Keeping up appearances is a waste of our energy. Jesus already sees to our core, and there's no need to pretend with Him. 

Surround yourself with others who are honest about their struggles and problems and who you can also be real with. Then pray for each other so you can be healed.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray 

for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

This will end your exhausting quest to keep up appearances for others. 

Where can you find these people? If you don't have a strong church family or small group, a great place to find these people is at a nearby Celebrate Recovery program; a Christ-centered recovery program for anyone struggling with ANY hurts, hangups or habits. That's pretty much everyone, right? To find a CR group near you, go to Celebrate Recovery. 

This won't all happen in one day, but I bet if you ask God, He will lead you to others who, like you, want to move past the pretenses and enjoy freedom and true joy in Him.

And of course, as always, feel free to contact me ANYTIME. You can send a private email by using the contact form on the right of this page or leave a comment below where you feel comfortable for others to see.

Let's stay the course, and be real together.

Terri

When You Turn Out the Lights

During my early months as a single mom, I dreaded turning the lights out at night. 

I was a knee-knocking, fearful 27-year old in charge of the safety of my two children in the other bedroom.

I haven’t told many people this, but those first months I was alone, I slept with a knife hidden under my mattress. A big one.

I remember putting a chair at each door, tilted just under the doorknob to keep out danger.

We had a big dog too. Sheba slept outside in her cozy doghouse in our fenced-in yard, so I thought.

One night she erupted into an attack bark right under my bedroom window, followed by her galloping to the back corner of the yard. My feet hit the floor like bowling balls and kneeled to look out into the dark.

Minutes later, Sheba returned to her spot underneath my window and I went back to bed.

I told myself it was probably just a deer or other night animal.

What I didn’t know was she’d been sleeping under my window every night instead of in her doghouse. When I would turn out the lights, I could see her laying right there beneath my window.

I began to notice when I was in another part of the house, I could look out and there she’d be.

God used Sheba to remind me that He set His angles in place to guard over me.

For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. Psalm 91:11 

Eventually I put the knife back in the kitchen where it belonged and didn’t have Sheba anymore.

Over time, I realized my Protector was mightier than any physical weapon I had or Sheba. I wasn’t so afraid for our safety anymore.

The Lord used those single-mom years to teach me more than I would’ve learned had I not gone through those tough times.

Are you alone for the first time in many years, and dread turning out the lights at night? Are you going through some tough times right now and feel alone?

The Lord Jesus will use this time to make His presence known to you, as you set your thoughts on Him. He’s already thinking about you.

Indeed, the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 

Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than 

many sparrows. Luke 12:7

And when you fall asleep, you can have peace.

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, 

Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

Whatever tough times you’re experiencing, I can tell you this: Our Heavenly Father specializes in showing His faithfulness during tough times. 

He will use our struggles no matter how big or small to equip us for brighter days and use for His purposes.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

Today, trust Him as your Protector and faithful Deliverer. On the other side of your troubles, you will have no doubt that He is the One True God, 

Let's stay the course, by trusting Him in the tough times.

Terri

When Falling in Love Becomes True Love

Love is a loaded subject. There are different types of love, but for today’s post I’m only focusing on two.

Falling in love and true love.

Falling “in love” with someone is temporary and shallow. You meet someone, fall in love, then vow to love, honor and cherish for the rest of your life.

Are you in love with him? Is he in love with you? Are y’all in love? These are the questions asked when considering marriage, as if that’s enough to last a lifetime together.

Falling in love with someone comes with all sorts of feelings and emotions. You think about them constantly. They make you feel special and it takes little effort to let the other know they’re the most important person in your life.

People fall in love every day. Then they claim to fall out of love. Grow apart, whatever you want to call it. You’ve lost that loving feeling. What happened?

It’s my personal opinion that when we place the initial, falling-in-love stage as the foundation for a marriage, we’re confusing what love really means.

True love. Lasting love. This is what we all long for.

What’s the difference between true love and falling in love?

For starters, if we’re honest, falling in love is all about me, I, us. Not them.

My first marriage ended because my husband fell “out of love” with me and in love with someone else. I’ve heard the same story over and over from others. From men too.

I’ve heard that if you fall out of love with someone, then maybe you were never in love with them; a shaky foundation for a lifelong commitment, right?

This leads to a lot of people falling in and out of love throughout their lives, never knowing true love.

The first months and years with your one and only, are full of many firsts. First Christmases, birthdays or first adventures together.

Eventually you’ll run out of all those “firsts”. Then what?

You find out they grind their teeth while they sleep, pass gas, belch, and their once adored uniqueness has become more annoying than cute.

What then?

Kids come. Jobs change, appearances shift a little, and the stress of life drives a wedge between you.

Feelings change. Attitudes change. Goals change. Life happens. The love ran out.

Now what?

This is when true love can become the foundation for fulfilling your vows of “till death do us part.”

Real, true love becomes action, a choice. True love isn't all about you or me. True love is when it's all about them. 

We humans did not discover or create love. It’s not some cosmic, fateful, happenstance that people randomly experience.

I’m not a love expert or relationship know-it-all. Quite the contrary.

I’ve only been remarried for nine years after being a single mom for 19. So I’m not an expert.

Since being married again, though, I’m learning and experiencing true love for the first time. It’s the deepest, most meaningful, action-packed, choice I’ve ever made with another person.

It requires the indwelling of the spirit of Jesus Christ in my heart to empower me to grow in this way. Especially when there’s a history of baggage to deal with.

The definition of true love is found in God’s word (the Bible).

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, 

it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does 

not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13

That’s a TALL order, right?

Impossible?

Nothing is impossible with God!

Jesus looked at them and said, ‘with man this is impossible, 

but with God all things are possible.’ Matthew 19:26

So if you’re not feeling in love with your spouse, it doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

You might simply be at the crossroads where true love replaces the temporary state of falling in love.

And when love becomes action, like in the above verses from 1

Corinthians, those feelings you want to experience resurface in a much deeper way.

Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:8

Here are a couple of resources that might help along the way:

iMarriage video

The 5 Love Languages

Here's to true love and staying the course together,

Terri