What Are You Wearing Today?

What did you put on this morning when you got up?

A uniform? Business clothes? Jeans? Are you dressy, casual or still in your pajamas?

Are you wearing earrings? Necklace? Bracelets? And what kind of shoes are you wearing?

I'm sure how you're dressed is determined by where you’re going or what’s on today’s agenda.

When we get dressed, we are careful to choose clothes based on how we want to look, along with style and comfort. 

Maybe we dress to hide what's really "hidden" or underneath.

We also dress in "invisible" clothes that we're unaware of. We wear them every day. These “invisible” clothes affect everything we say and do far more than we think. Truth is, they're not so invisible.

One day, not very long ago, I asked a single mom who was homeless, this question:

How is it that, what you’ve been through and currently going through, you’re so positive, energetic and hopeful? Sitting there with her, one could not see a hint of her current circumstances.

I’ll never forget what her answer was:

               I just don’t wear it.

Her answer stunned me for a few seconds, then I got it.

I was part of a panel of interviewers, discussing her entrance into a resident ministry for single moms.

Her children were well dressed and well behaved. She didn’t let them “wear” their circumstances either.

I was convicted. Not guilt-ridden, but gently convicted by the Lord.

I thought about when I was a single mom and how I put on my struggles, hardships and disappointments every day, wearing them everywhere I went.

I dressed myself in shame, financial burdens, victimization and rejection. I walked in shoes of fear and anger, depending on what day it was.

Those years have passed for me, but those five little words made me realize I still wore a lot of the same old “clothes”.

I love wearing something new. Don’t you? How do you feel when you put on a new dress or outfit?

I wonder what would happen if we simply changed our invisible clothing, one piece at a time. How do you think it would begin to affect our outward circumstances (and appearance)?

Here's a few:

 “…and provide for those who grieve in Zion – 

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, 

the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise 

instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:3

LAYER ON

I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. 

For he has clothed me with garments of salvation 

and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, 

as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10

AND

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled 

around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness 

in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness 

that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, 

take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish 

all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the 

helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, 

which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:4-17

ACCESSORIZE WITH

Your statutes, Lord, stand firm; holiness adorns 

your house for endless days. Psalm 93:5

AND

She is clothed with strength and dignity; 

she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25

I know. You might be thinking it’s much easier said, than done. I get that.  

That’s why we must go from just saying it, to doing it. Piece by piece, day by day. Or hey, just go on an all-out spree and get a whole new wardrobe at once.

The best part is…IT’S ALL FREE!

My daughter once said, “you dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” (Unless you already have the job you want)

Maybe if we “dressed” for the circumstances we want, not the ones we’re in, what would happen?

Here’s a summary of what we could be wearing from our new wardrobe:

Crown of beauty

Oil of joy

Garments of praise and salvation

Robe of righteousness

Belt of truth

Breastplate of righteousness

Shoes from the gospel of peace

Shield of faith

Helmet of salvation

Sword of the Spirit (God's Word)

Holiness

Strength

Dignity

These are just a few. Maybe you can add some in the comments area below that I’ve left out.

I’m updating my current wardrobe. Won’t you join me? 

Staying the course,

Terri

Alone-Military Separation

Today, on this day of memoral when we remember all our military service men and women, veterans and those who gave their lives in service for our freedoms, I introduce to you my friend and writing comrade, Barbara Latta.

Barbara writes transparently about her life as a military wife and mom in today's post. I know you will find encouragement and hope by what Barbara shares below. You can catch up with her at www.barbaralatta.com, and sign up for her blog titled, Navigating LIfe's Curves.

Here's Barbara!

Alone. Every woman married to a military man understands that word.

The time span of being alone we experience may differ, but we are a sisterhood of women who know the feeling of having her husband be away for periods of time. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, special events and the mundane Mondays, have all been spent at some period of our lives without the man we married.

Adjusting to this vacancy is difficult. We cry, we get depressed, we get angry, and we try to put on the face of normalcy while going about daily routines and keeping children from sucking up the loneliness we are facing.

At the same time, we are proud of our husbands and what they are doing by serving their country and putting their lives and safety on the line. Sometimes for those who don’t appreciate it.

How do we cope? Some don’t. Some end up with broken marriages or addicted to substances they tried to use as a crutch for the void.

Jesus is the only one who can uphold a falling person. He is not a crutch, but a strong tower in weakness. 

He is the lighthouse in the darkness and the only refreshing stream in the dry desert of depression. 

He is the shield of faith against the fear of what is going on with the mate who at times is in a dangerous place. And He is the shield of faith against the fear of an empty house that creaks and groans at night with noises you don’t recognize.

People have asked me how I do it. How do you stay by yourself and not go crazy? Aren’t you afraid to live alone?

If I thought about it, I would be.

Psalm 91 tells me that if I dwell in the secret place of the Most High I shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

Isaiah 26:3 tells me to keep my mind stayed on Him and I will have perfect peace.

Hebrews 13:5 tells me God will never leave me or forsake me. I am never alone.

My Navy husband has spent a total of 10 years away from home through military service and as a contractor. During those times there were homecomings for a few weeks or months,then he would return again to different duty stations all over the world.

You may have a son or daughter serving in the military. The feelings of separation are different than for a deployed spouse, but you still miss them and you try not to worry.

I have been in those shoes, as well. Our oldest son is an Army veteran and our youngest, an Air Force veteran. I have waved good-bye from airports and bus stations with tears in my eyes.

What can you do to retain your sanity and also encourage your family members?

• Pray – Our most important resource should not be overlooked because we become too busy. Knowing our spouse or children are in God’s hands brings comfort and peace to our hearts.
• Confess the Word – Daily confessions are important and build your faith. Spread the Word over yourself, your loved ones who are away, and any others still at home with you.
• Don’t isolate yourself – Stay active with friends, other family members, your church and other organizations you may belong to.
• Have a support partner – Another military wife or mother knows what you are going through and can be a prayer partner and encourager when you are feeling down. If you are down, you can’t lift up and encourage your mate.
• Stay in touch – Email and Skype are great ways to connect often, but my husband said the cards and letters I mailed to him meant more because he could touch them and keep the tangible reminder of home nearby. The ones he sent home did the same for me.
• Keep yourself strong and healthy, both mentally and physically for yourself and your family’s benefit. After all, if your husband fears for your safety and health, he will not be able to keep his mind on his responsibilities.

May you know, as the wife or mother of a military member, you are special. You are sacrificing as well as they are because you are giving your family to the service of our country.

You are a gift and a shining star in the flag of womanhood.

Remember, you are not alone. You have a host of other wives and mothers praying for you and willing to give support when you need help. And most of all, our heavenly Father has you and your family in the palm of His hand.

A couple of great resources to help you through these times, are: Fighting Fear: Winning the War at Home When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle and While My Soldier Serves: Prayers for Those with Loved Ones in the Military. Both are written by Author Edie Melson. 

Have a blessed and peaceful Memorial Day.

Your fellow comrade,

Barbara Latta

He Stayed

I married an Army guy when I was 19. We were high school sweethearts. A week after our wedding he was shipped out to Europe. I followed him six weeks later, and joined him in Rodenbach Germany, where he was stationed for three years.

Sixteen months later our son was born in Frankfurt, Germany. Nineteen months later my husband’s tour ended and we returned home to Georgia.

A year later we both became Christians. My husband was top salesman for a large food service company and we were able to buy our first home in an Atlanta suburb. We found an awesome little church full of other young couples and began our new life as Christians.

Our daughter was born three years later. Life was grand.

I loved being home with my kids. I had worked while we were in Germany, and off and on after moving back to the states, so being able to stay home with them was a huge blessing.

Everything was going according to plan. My plan.

A year after our daughter was born, we left our church in search of a larger one, hoping for more involvement.

We never found that church. 

Three months later my husband moved out and we were divorced the following year.

I was single again at 28, with two small kids. No job. No church home. Turns out my best friend and husband were having an affair, so along with losing my husband, I lost my best friend too.

What about you? Are you single again? What happened to bring you to that place? Death? Divorce? Never married, but you split up? 

Have you been tossed onto a path you would never have chosen, wondering how you got there and why?

Whatever it is, I’m sure it wasn’t in the plans you had for your life.

The abrupt changes in my life that set me on my unchosen path were a result of others’ choices. After I quit blaming God, I realized I still had choices too.

I knew Jesus as Savior, but was still learning to make Him Lord prior to my life becoming a shattered

mess. I had to decide if I was going to bring Him all the shards of broken pieces that were left or go my own way, away from Him.

I chose to continue letting Him be my Lord.

When my husband and best friend left, Jesus stayed.

HE STAYED.

Not only did Jesus stay, but He became my Husband and Best Friend. For 19 years I became personally acquainted with His ways and provision. I learned He would never betray or leave me.

His word (The Bible) was tried and proven in my life over and over and over, as my circumstances left me with no other option but to trust Him.

I’m no more special than anyone else. I just leaned heavy on God, and found out that’s exactly what He wanted me to do.

God’s specialty is broken lives.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and 

saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Little by little, day by day and through many dark nights, the Lord Almighty grasped and held tight to my surrendered brokenness and formed it into something I could never have imagined.

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

He plopped me down in a close-knit church family, gave me not one, but two new best friends. We’ve stuck like glue for more than 25 years.

God did a complete rewrite of my plan. I eventually remarried and a lot of my struggles ceased.

God is still writing.

If your circumstances have taken a turn onto a path you would never choose and is not in your plans, you still have choices. God has a grand plan.

I encourage you today to choose Him. Lay down all the broken pieces of your life and let Him rewrite your story.

I promise you that you won’t regret it.

I invite you to share in the comments below or if you prefer, feel free to send a personal email by completing the form on the right.

Next week is Memorial Day. We’re going to have a very special guest, who knows all too well what it’s like to be a military wife. 

As we remember all our military men and women on Memorial Day, I want to also hold up the spouses and family members who are alone while their loved one serves abroad.

Until then, stay the course,

Terri

Our Emotions Can Lie to Us

Who of you out there has ever allowed your emotions to dictate what direction you should go?

Can you envision me raising my hand and nodding?

Many times I’ve allowed my emotions to dictate my reality, leading me down a path of misery.

Too often my emotions can be my enemy.  

God created women with unique and special complexities, and one of them is our emotions.

What we do with our emotions not only affects us mentally, spiritually and physically, but causes a ripple effect to everyone around us, either for good or for bad.

Our emotions are an outflow from our heart and soul, which are controlled by our thoughts. They’re so intertwined, you can’t divide or separate them. One can’t act apart from the other and they all affect our body and health.

The world loudly proclaims, FOLLOW YOUR HEART!

That’s fine if our heart’s throne is occupied by the One True God, who created us and goes to unfathomable lengths to have an intimate relationship with us.

But when we’re propped up on that throne in our heart, donning a tiara, thinking we’re in control, and embracing secret thoughts, is when we’re in danger of whacky emotions leading us astray.

God already knows:

You know when I sit and when I rise; 
You perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; 
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely.  Psalm 139:2-4 (NIV)

I learned at a young age how to stuff my emotions. As an adult I rarely showed much emotion about anything, and half the time didn’t know how I felt.

Now that I’m older and smack in the middle of menopause, it seems all those emotions I stuffed way back when, want to force their way out.

What’s a girl to do? How can I ensure that the emotions flowing from my heart aren’t dictating a self-destructive path?

The best answer I have is this:

Return to the same place every morning, sitting at the feet of Jesus, as I’ve been sharing over the past several weeks, and as Sande Oliver shared last week in her beautiful depiction of Mary of Bethany.

I never stop asking God to pour His desires in my heart and remove those that aren’t from Him.

I do this because I know I can’t always trust my heart and the emotions that flow from it.

For out of the heart come evil thoughts –

murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft,

false testimony, slander. Matthew 15:19

If I want to follow my heart, I must make sure, beyond any doubt, that it’s God’s desires I’m following.

This can be difficult when you’re consumed with overwhelming emotions. The whirlwind seems to be the controlling force. You may feel you’re teetering on the edge of an unknown abyss and all it would take is one puff of air to send you over. It’s at this juncture that there’s one decision to make and only one.

Look up! 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:-2

~

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens; Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls

forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40:26

And…

…trust He won’t let your foot slip. (Psalm 121:3)

When the storm calms…

When your fuzzy perspective becomes focused through God’s lens…

                                                      

When your next decision isn’t based on the ebb and flow of your emotions…

When you know that the Lord watches over you, and is your shade; He won’t let the sun harm you (Psalm 121:5-6)…

And you know the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. (Psalm 121:8)…

Then you will have peace, joy and comfort as you make your decision(s) knowing He’s leading you in the right direction.

Who of you out there wants, peace, joy and comfort?

Me too!

I invite you to share in the comments below or send a private email via the form on the right of this page how your emotions have gotten the best of you when facing decisions.

Until next week…

Be encouraged and stay the course.

Terri

Welcome Sande Oliver

Welcome back to Monday Markers. As promised last week, we have a guest today. 

My beautiful BFF, Sande Oliver, is a passionate Bible teacher. She's a pastor's wife and founder of The Planting Place blog, where women dig, plant and grow in God's word. 

She posts every single day! It's a wonderful place to learn and grow in God's word. You can follow her at:

www.sandeoliver.com or https://theplantingplacewordpress.org/

Today Sande shares a story about a woman who knew Jesus personally. She is a woman who has deeply impacted both of us as one's example we desire to follow.

Enjoy!

She's Just So Needy!

Have you ever heard those words? 

Typically when hearing “she’s just so needy,” the sentiment conveyed is one of disapproval and disdain. However, one of the women of the Bible I admire most, was just this kind of woman, she was… well, she WAS just so needy!

In the big picture, she was a nobody. 

We know very little about the background of Mary of Bethany from the pages of Scripture; she was a woman from the village of Bethany and the sister of Martha and Lazarus. 

No elaboration regarding her station, occupation, or other relationships are given. As a Jewish woman in the days of Jesus, she would have been relegated to an inferior status with little freedom, in essence, a nobody.

But the pages of Scripture offer a view through the lens of our Savior, and this needy nobody is brought into clear focus. 

Mary’s family experienced a close relationship with their Master, convinced of His love and believing in His miraculous power.

When Lazarus was sick, Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus, “the one You love is sick,” John 11:3. And after Lazarus died, both Martha and Mary expressed the same words they both fervently believed, 

“Lord, if You had been here, my brother 

would not have died,” John 11:21, 32.

While Martha had indeed articulated her belief in Jesus, Mary expressed her faith passionately. 

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, 

and fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, 

my brother would not have died.” John 11:32

Mary fell at His feet, unashamed of her great need, desperate for what only He could provide. Scripture portrays two other accounts of Mary, and in all three we find her, ultimately, in the same position, at the feet of Jesus.

In Luke 10 we see her sitting at His feet, hanging on His every word while her sister, Martha, is distracted with serving.  While Martha accused Mary of neglecting her duties, Jesus defended and commended her, 

“…but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her, Luke 10:42.

In John 12 and Matthew 26, we read of Mary’s extravagant display of worship anointing His feet with expensive perfume and wiping His feet with her hair. And when others accused her of such great waste, Jesus defended and commended her,

“For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. ¹³ Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her.” Matthew 26:12-13

She was just so needy… passionately needy for what only Jesus could provide, and passionately needy to somehow demonstrate her love and gratitude.

Because Mary was a woman in need, she was an extravagant worshipper; the cost was not her concern, not the cost to her possessions or to her reputation.

Because Mary was a woman in need, she was recklessly devoted, unaffected by the expectations or opinions of others.

Because Mary was a woman in need, she was not distracted or pulled away from what she knew to be her greatest need.

Because Mary was a woman in need, she was authentic and focused. She sought approval from none but Him, fixing her eyes and ears on Him alone.

Above others’ expectations and all other competing things, what mattered most to Mary was to be with Jesus and hear His words of life.  

She just couldn’t seem to help it. She was just so needy, except when she sat at the feet of the One Who fulfilled her every unmet desire.

Mary was just so needy, needy enough to live without hungering after the approval of others, resulting in approval from the only One Who matters. 

Her act of authentic, extravagant and reckless devotion left the permeating fragrance of her sacrifice. 

Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, 

and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; 

and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume, John 12:3.

What a wonderful privilege to be a woman in need. When we recognize our need we sense the urgency to passionately pursue Him, to take our place at His feet. 

There, at His feet, our priorities are aligned, satisfied only when Jesus commends us, even at whatever cost to our possessions or reputation. And choosing the “good part” will never be taken away from us; it has eternal value.

When the Lord speaks to us, it is ours to keep forever!

Does the story of Mary of Bethany inspire you? Does her passion create a deeper hunger for intimacy with your Savior? Will you join me in considering the following questions?

• Am I “just so needy?” Do I truly know the depth of my need and the Only One Who can touch the places desperate for healing and fulfillment?
• Does my need cause me to passionately pursue Him, no matter the cost?
• Dose my life leave a permeating fragrance of authenticity, devotion, worship and gratitude?
• Would the Lord defend, and even commend, my worship and devotion?
• If Scripture were being written today, would I be remembered as a needy nobody who became an authentic woman of extravagant worship and reckless devotion?

If we are less than satisfied with any of our answers, we are in a place of need. 

Let’s ask Him to use our need to thrust us upon His feet, that we would become women of extravagant worship and reckless devotion who know the truth; we are just so needy.

Sometimes, in my deepest dreams, I can’t help but wonder what Jesus might say about me. 

Hopefully, He would find me in my usual spot, sitting at His feet, and perhaps turning to some angels He might exclaim, “She’s just so needy.”

Let’s meet at His feet!

Sande

Dating Jesus

I shudder to think where I’d be if not for Jesus. His presence in my life is everything to me. I can’t imagine life without Him. I just can’t.

It makes sense that I long for time alone with Him. I recognize though, there’s no way this longing comes from within my heart, in and of myself. He put it there.

Not too long ago I was growing dangerously numb to His prodding. Yes, even after all these years. I’m humbly grateful for His relentless pursuit of me. Makes me feel truly loved.

He’s relentless with you too. The cravings, longings and unmet needs sitting like lead weights in the bottom of your heart, can only be satisfied by Jesus.

Last Monday I wrote about becoming more intentional with my time alone with Jesus. I’d come to the place where I realized I couldn’t afford NOT to dig, plant and grow.

Merriam-Webster defines intentional as Done in a way that is planned or intended.

What does this look like? It means setting our alarm clocks earlier than usual. Or writing it on our calendar or phone’s calendar. 

Then guarding that time. Our meeting with Jesus each day is more important than any other meeting we could schedule.

The three must-haves are:

• A quiet place/spot. Uninterrupted and not distracting.
• Your Bible or Bible app on your mobile device
• A notebook for writing down your thoughts, prayers and all the awesome things God will show you.

As I began with a clean slate on January 1 of this year, I didn’t get too far with my plan before I hit several hurdles.

The first hurdle…ignoring God.

I was out of town for my job and had set my alarm for 5:00am, allowing plenty of time with Jesus before meeting my coworkers in the hotel lobby. 

I woke up at 4:00am. Lying there in the dark I heard these words:

Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3 (NIV)

I knew it was God. How else would this verse pop into my head at 4:00am?

I thought about how tired I’d be during the day if I got up, and felt that 5:00am was already pushing it for me. So I rolled back over and dozed off.

Have you ever had a friend or family member leave a voicemail on your phone saying, Call me!

That’s what God did. And I shrugged Him off.

An hour later I got up, gathered my “quiet-time” things and settled cozily against my pillows in bed with a cup of hotel coffee.

I didn’t bring my Bible, since I have a Bible app on my phone. I tried to access Google Play for a little worship music. Nothing. It wouldn’t work. I was immediately irritated.

My irritation intensified when the Bible app wouldn’t work either. I suddenly felt alone in my room, like Jesus was nowhere. I dared to say to Him that I felt stood up. Through tears.

During my little tearful fit, I felt a gentle ping in my heart and mind. I had stood Him up. He called me. Jesus called me! And I brushed Him off.

I was mortified.

I got over that hurdle, but not without a painful lesson learned.

My 2^nd hurdle came when certain expectations weren’t met. Such as, all the wonderful things God would show me. Direction for writing, single-parent ministry and other warm-fuzzies that come when sitting at His feet, learning from Him. 

Those things did come, but in very small portions in comparison to the surprises God showed me.

I’d been struggling with stinking thinking. My thoughts caused a bubbling brew in my heart that was going to spew uncontrollably if not dealt with. 

Here I was, with my devotionals, Bible reading, journaling and praying. Yet how I was thinking and what I harbored in my heart were wrong. Pure sin. I couldn’t even stand myself.

God’s majestic finger touched my heart, as if He pointed straight to the root cause of my impure thoughts. The bubbling brew had gone on for so long it took

a while to simmer enough where He could toss it out.

Hopefully for good.

Remove the dross from the silver and out comes material for the silversmith. Proverbs 25:4 (NIV)

Dross is the scum formed on the surface of molten metal or waste matter; worthless stuff; rubbish. (Webster’s New College Dictionary)

God is the Silversmith who scraps off the dross and tosses it.

The last hurdle is worrying about what’s going on outside my closed door. 

Worrying about what someone else thinks of me when I disappear for an hour. 

Or worrying about all the other things I need to do, feeling like this precious time is unproductive or frivolous.

Ladies, meeting and sitting at Jesus’ feet every day is the life-breathing, fresh touch you need to satisfy your deepest longings. He wants you to be in love with Him, like He is with you.

Remember my friend, Sande, founder of The Planting Place, I spoke about last week? She’s joining us next Monday to share her story of finding everything she needs at the feet of Jesus. You won’t want to miss her!

Until then…stay the course

Terri