Depending on God

by Terri Webster

When I was a single mom, depending on God became tangible.

Meaning, I depended on Him for the basics of necessities; food, shelter, water.

My dependence grew exponentially, as I also relied on Him for justice, healing of my broken heart and sanity for each day.

Those were tough years, putting it mildly.  

Today, while I know all my provision flows from and through Him, I no longer am in the posture of daily exercising that faith muscle. I take care, though, not to let it become flabby because I hope to never need to work it out like I did in my younger days.

However, if not for those years, I’m convinced there is no other way for me to know the intimate, compassionate, care and unfailing love of the Father’s heart, the way I came to know Father God’s.

Experiencing all I did during those years, also led me to the heart of Jesus in a fresh way, as I said yes to His proposal to be my Husband.

I was already saved, born again, but those dark days caused me to know Him in ways I wouldn’t know Him otherwise.

I stumbled and fumbled through. Made my share of mistakes. Struggled with doubt, unbelief, fits of rage and distancing myself from God.

Thankfully, He never budged. His love never changed in my ever-changing world.

Are you walking through dark times today, through a whirlwind of changes?

Dealing with a broken heart, injustice, loss, sorrow?

I write to you from the other side of a life forever changed by pain and hardship with nothing but encouragement and hope to offer you.

First, there’s no way you can muster up enough strength, self-will or spiritual ability to endure. Maybe for a day or two. But that isn’t lasting endurance. That may sound like bad news to you.

I have far better news!

Dear friend, you were never meant to dig deep within yourself to find all of that, as the world will tell you. Eventually you’ll come to the bottom of yourself. Then what?

Your shoulders weren’t designed to carry the weight of others AND your own burdens.

In a world completely void of stability, God’s unfailing love is unchanging. The shifting ground under your feet and unpredictable circumstances you’re in, are no match for His power to settle and sturdy you, as He walks alongside you.

How does this become your reality?

In His Word, the Bible; that book the world tells you is not worth your time, you can take hold of and apply His truths to the depths of your need, permeating, going where only He can go.

There was a time when I wasn’t sure I would ever say this, but joyfully, the time has come. God’s Word, the Bible, full of His rich promises and truth, has been tried and proven, over and over again in my life. His promises can be trusted. (Psalm 12:6)

I’ll share just a few with you today (there are too many for one little blog post).

• Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Placing our burdens on Jesus, results in rest, even while in the storm.

• Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

The darker the path, the brighter His truth shines.

• But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Waiting isn’t easy, but the promised rewards are priceless.

• Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Today, whatever state you’re in, dark, light, good, bad, come to Him, just as you are. Pick up Your Bible, and allow Him to tell you deeper things you otherwise wouldn’t know.  

Dependently staying the course,

Terri

Time Alone with God

by Terri Webster

How is your year going? Are you ready to see 2017 fade away and start 2018 with a clean slate?

For some of you it’s been a tough year. Some hard stuff mixed in with the good.

This is the time when I begin asking the Lord what my word/theme will be for next year to represent my quiet time with Him. 2018 will begin year three of intentionally setting aside time alone with Him every day.

It’s not because I’m so godly and mature, but because I was hungry and desperate.

Are you hungry? Feeling empty; like there must be more to this life; more to this Christian life?

A year ago I shared with you about this new venture with the Lord, which began two years ago. In my blog post titled, Color Your Year, posted December 19, 2016, I explain in more detail.

Before reading further you can catch up by reading Color Your Year here, then pop back over for today’s post.

Color Your Year

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quiet time, devotion and Bible reading. We call it different things, but it’s that daily block of time set aside for time alone with Jesus.

This is something I’ve discovered I’m desperate for. I must have it.

Like water is necessary for my body, so is my time alone with Jesus, His word, prayer and writing in my journal.

The past two years have been life-changing. My life’s circumstances haven’t changed, but I have. The change isn’t complete, but will take the rest of my life.

It’s a process.

Throughout the years of my life with Jesus, I’ve always known I needed to spend time with Him. At times my efforts were minimal. I thought as long as I opened my Bible, sat in His presence, read a devotion of the day, then prayed a little that this was enough to grow and change me; enough to know Him.

It wasn’t until the end of 2015, that I became aware of my great need. I couldn’t continue doing the same thing and expect change.

January 1, 2016 was a new day of a new month of a new year. I was focused and ready to make my time with the Lord top priority and yielded to Him in a fresh way.

Ten minutes a day turned into 30, when before I knew it, my “dates” with Jesus became the fastest hour or more gone by of every day!

The room above our garage has become my HAPPY place, even with the hard, disciplining, pruning and burning off the dross by His refining fire. 

I’m nowhere near where I need to be, but learning to simply BE with Him, and let Him do His work in me is priceless. It’s not my work, but HIS.

What relief it is!

How is your daily quiet time with God? If you don’t have a regular time set apart for time alone with Him, I encourage you to begin plans to make this a priority in your day. This is where you’ll find direction, healing and peace that the world will never provide. This is where the change you’re longing for takes place.

The Lover of your soul waits for you. He will never NOT show up.

I encourage you today, to step outside of the noise and busyness for a moment to ask Him for a word/or theme to represent your time with Him for 2018. When He shows you, (and He will), set up your personal space that’s just for you and Jesus. Let Him surprise you!

I invite you to share your thoughts too and how you spend your time alone with Him. Also, feel free to email me by using the form on the right side of this page to ask questions or request prayer.

Staying the course from surprise to surprise,

Terri

What Am I Responsible For?

What am I responsible for?

At what point do I let go and turn over the reins to the Great I Am? And how do I know when it’s time to step up to the plate? And swing?

Where is the balance between working as if it all depended on me and releasing the burden of it all on the One who initiated this thing to begin with?

Where does the inspiration and fervent desire to work for Him come from? It was once there; where did it go?

And will it come back?

And… inspiration to do what?

Go back to school?

Start that ministry?

Change careers?

Paint?                                                       

Write?

Make music?

Today I read an awesome blog post written by my long-distance friend Julie Dibble. I encourage you to read it here: 

Julie Dibble Writes

She asked this question at the end of her post:

"Do you feel responsible for things belonging to God?"

My answer was a resounding, “Yes!”

I learned at a young age how to shoulder everyone else’s responsibilities. It’s very difficult to stop. I did stop, but at some point in the middle of rush, took it back.

Maybe that’s what depletes my inspiration and fervent desire to fulfill His plan and purpose for me. 

Maybe that’s when depression comes.

What about you?

Are you carrying the burden of responsibility of something that belongs to God? Or someone else? 

That thing that you must make sure turns out the way it’s “supposed” to?

In addition to the responsibilities that really ARE yours?

Feeling overwhelmed now?

This is the point where we may need to let go of some things. Those things we THINK we have control over, but really don’t. And never will.

So we might as well cut ourselves some slack; let it go into His more-than capable, big, strong hands.

Now to Him who is able to carry out His purpose 

and do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask 

or think, [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, 

or dreams], according to His power that is at work 

within us. Ephesians 3:20 (AMP)

Stop here. Breathe. Now let’s go back and slowly read the above verse again.

This covers just about everything, doesn’t it?

This is where we find balance. Letting go.

As we let go, the scales begin to tip back toward the side that Jesus holds.

Ahhh, I feel a sense of relief. And a glimmer of inspiration and desire.

With all the fervor and love that fills my heart for you, I pray you do too, and that the floodgates open up for you.

I'd love to hear from you if you feel comfortable commenting below. Or you can always email me using the form on the right side of this page. 

We can stay the course together,

Terri

Arkansas Adventure Part 2-The Dirt Road

Hi friends! Welcome back. 

This is Part 2 of Arkansas Adventure. To catch up with what's going on, visit my post from August 24th here: Counting the Days...and hours

Today I'm sharing a poem I wrote that was inspired by the dirt road running in front of my grandparents' old rock house in Mt. Ida, Arkansas. 

Stay tuned for the last part of Arkansas Adventure that I promise will take you back in time when life was less complicated and moved at a slower pace.

Until then, I invite you to wander the nearest dirt road for what I call "dirt-road therapy".

Very few people and cars pass by,

This long winding passage under the sky.

Its quiet seclusion gives relief and rest,

From the stresses of life’s daily test.

Lined with wild flowers, grass and weeds,

They welcoming flow in the gentle breeze.

There was a time when this 

scene wasn’t so rare, 

and wandering the dirt road 

was common fare.

These days this pleasure is 

only a daydream,

While urbanization grows with relentless steam.

More effort and time is required to discover, the lost treasures on the dirt road left to uncover.

So the next time you need to escape the rat race,

Seek out the nearest dirt road to calm your busy pace.

Counting The Days...and Hours

This time next week…at exactly this time, on this day, I’ll be…

Have you ever been so excited about an event that you count the days and hours until it happens?

A road trip. That beach vacation. Your wedding day. Birth of a baby?

And when the event comes and goes, in remembrance of the special occasion, you say to yourself…”this time last week, I was…” and then you sigh, longing to be back in that time.

That’s me today.

I’ve been counting the weeks and days ever since plans were made six weeks ago.

Last month, my husband and I were traveling home on Interstate 20 east from Mississippi to Georgia. My dad lives in Mississippi and we’d gone to attend my Uncle Don’s funeral. My dad is the youngest of seven, at 82 years young. He has one surviving brother, Uncle Bob, who lives in northern Arkansas. Uncle Bob is 89, I think, and was also at his brother’s funeral.

While we were all together, Uncle Bob kept inviting me to come visit him and his wife Wilma in Mountain Home, Arkansas. The day before we all left, Uncle Bob repeatedly said, “I dare you. I dare you to come and visit us.” 

It was quite endearing, irresistible and well, don’t dare me to do something because I'm likely to accept.

My dad and all his siblings grew up in Mt. Ida, Arkansas, except for a 10-year gig in New Mexico, during the 1940’s.

Throughout my childhood, during the 1960s and early ‘70s, we visited my grandparents in this tiny Arkansas town, where they still lived in the old rock house on the hilltop of a dirt road, far off the beaten path.

We’d travel from northern Arkansas, where we lived at the time,

winding through the Ozark Mountains southward to Mt. Ida, to visit my grandparents. They must have heard the gravel and dirt road come to life, beneath our car tires, because they’d always be waiting on the porch to greet us, as my parents, my two brothers and I approached their house.

Oh, the memories! A time when life was simple and exploring the outdoors filled our days.

So, as my husband and I drove home, six weeks ago, he suggested that if I was ever going to visit my uncle in Arkansas, the time was now. That’s when plans unfolded to take my dad with us, so he could give us the grand tour of Mt. Ida, then head north to Uncle Bob’s.

The bittersweet reality is, this will most likely be the last time my dad and I will see Mt. Ida, and visit his brother in Mountain Home.

Why am I so excited about going back to Mt. Ida, Arkansas, that I’m counting the days and hours before we leave?

And why would I think it’s interesting enough to share it with you?

Well, I could use a little bit of escape and distraction from all the crazy going on today. Couldn’t you?

I’m going to take a step back in time to when kids got dirty, swam in creeks and ate grandma’s fried chicken on a river bank.

I'm also inviting my brothers and all my cousins who share the same sentiments of Grandma and Grandpa Jackson, the old rock house in Mt. Ida and all it represents, to escape their daily busyness and join me and my dad on our upcoming Arkansas Adventure 2017.

So, this time next week, the adventure begins, as we head west on Interstate 20.

Until then, let’s stay the course with this:

But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children. Psalm 103:17

Love,

Terri

(Photos courtesy of Pixabay - www.pixabay.com)

Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part 2

Welcome back friends!

If you were here yesterday, you know that today’s post is part two of Stop! Get Quiet…be still.

If you missed yesterday’s post, catch up here: Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part I

I left you, waiting to see how God showed up in the midst of my recent unraveling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dreaded the long drive back home from the Florida town where my dear friend had just gone home to be with Jesus.

The days following are a blur.

The disconnection between my husband and me lingered. I continued with the usual; work, keeping grandbabies, ministry, the rush of life, while numerous volunteer needs at church continually beckoned me.

I’ve always struggled with saying “yes” when I should say “no”. Saying yes to doing good things isn’t always God’s best.

I’d once read Lysa Terkeurst’s, The Best Yes, and realized I needed to read it again.  

If you struggle with over commitment, I encourage you to read her book. You can purchase it here: The Best Yes

Have you ever been physically exhausted and soul tired; not sooo tired, but SOUL tired, where one more thing would’ve completed the unraveling?

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, 

and I will give you rest. Taky My yoke upon you and learn from Me, 

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28 (NKJV)

When did rest become a luxury instead of necessity?

I hope by sharing the following steps I took to stop the unraveling, will help you if you are in a similar mess.

First, I stopped.

I stopped my volunteer stuff at church and worrying about what others thought about it. I stopped rushing everywhere, barely arriving on time.

I stopped filling the margins of leftover time with lunches and other “fun” things.

I stopped looking at my phone every five minutes. I didn’t realize how addicted I was to my phone.

I stopped asking God questions and overthinking everything.

I got quiet.

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV)

I spent time with Him; in His word, waiting to hear what He would say, rather than me doing all the talking. This calmed the constant chatter in my head. My only prayer for several weeks was, 

"Lord, that I would hear Your voice and be filled with Your spirit."

In the quiet I was able to hear Him say,

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, 

and He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 

I have called you by your name; You are Mine. Isaiah 43:1

I drove with the radio off most of the time. No news or music.

The more I focused on what God said, the less my thoughts clamored about how to fix and control everything.

I got still.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)

Did you know it’s okay to not have to go somewhere or do something productive, every waking minute?

I sat still on our porch. No phone or tablet allowed.

Being still isn’t only a physical act, but a stillness deep within. Physical rest requires being still, but soul rest, is an inner work that only God can do.

At first I had to be intentional to not succumb to the urges that I always need to be doing something.

While being still before God, I allowed myself to mourn my friend.

Instead of fearing my son’s mental illness, I allowed myself to grieve, then relinquish him completely to his Almighty Father, and trust Him, who is able to accomplish the impossible.

...do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the 

salvation of the Lord, which He will 

accomplish for you today. Exodus 14:13

During my time out, I accepted an invitation for a short beach getaway with several girlfriends. Nothing fancy. A tiny, old block house that we filled with lots of laughter and memories.

I know not everyone can go to the beach, but maybe there’s a nearby area you can escape to for a day or even a few hours.

Jesus did.

He went out and departed to a solitary 

place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35

My husband and I departed on a long weekend getaway and reconnected.

Work and chores still needed to be done, but during these weeks I rediscovered His peace and rest.

Remember the nearby town I mentioned yesterday that I despise? When I have to go or pass through it, and a flashback invades my thoughts, I allow the memory. Then I thank God for His working it for His purpose of healing and restoration. It's ah-may-zing the power that has! I'm sure that soon I will love that old town again.

As my time-out season comes to an end, the process continues. I have a new game plan, a different strategy. I expect that in the near future, I'll be sharing some of those strategies with you.
My friend, if you're feeling the melt down coming, unraveling, freaking out, overwhelmed and exhausted, you are not alone. As I type these words, I'm praying for you. Go to the The One who will give you rest. Learn from Him. Give Him your choking yoke and replace it with His.

Then you can say with me, I know the best is yet to come.

Staying the course together,
Terri

Stop! Get Quiet...be still-Part I

Greetings to any and all who may be reading this. 

A lot has happened since my last post on Valentine's Day, 2017.

I'm sharing today about where I've been with the hope that you will be encouraged.

This post is in two parts, with the second piece coming tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I despise that town. I stay away as much as possible.”

“Why?”

“Too many bad memories. Everywhere I go, 

I’m reminded of 19 years worth of ‘em.”

This is often my conversation with someone about a nearby town where I lived for 23 years.

Lots of good things happened there. First house, my daughter was born there, and we had great friends and was part of an amazing church family. 

While living in this town, I also experienced the betrayal of infidelity between my husband and best friend from church.

Left with my precious children, then 15-months old and six years, divorce followed. 

Foreclosure, bankruptcy.

When I ended the revolving-door of insanity with my ex and his out-of-control life, setting boundaries, things intensified with him. 

Emotional, verbal and mental abuse.

Believable threats.

Scenes in various places like those on that TV show COPS.

Living in fear. Lies. Injustices. 

These memories surface, along with apparent undealt-with brokenness, everytime I go to that town.

In spite of the bad, my relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, deepened during those years. When I thought my stretched-out faith couldn’t be stretched one more milli-speck, He would show up, which caused my faith to stretch all the more.

He lavished me with grace and forgiveness for my mistakes. He turned vision for ministry into physical reality. He called me out over deep waters to the mission field; opened doors to opportunities and experiences that I otherwise would never have had…

…if I hadn’t gone through the pain and hardship…

if I hadn’t experienced the abuse.

And at one of the lowest points in my 16^th year as

a single mom, He penned, When All Seems Lost, a poem I wrote that eventually became a song.

Then I wrote a book. Two actually.

God has definitely taken the bad stuff and turned it into His good purposes. All that happened was a long time ago and sounds like I have healed and moved on to amazing things. 

While this is mostly true, the other truth is, I haven’t. Not fully. 

The rush of life, work, raising kids, and saying yes to endless volunteering opportunities, has let me unintentionally avoid dealing with painful memories. 

So where have I been these past five months, since my last blog post? Where did I go? 

I went into time out. 

I quit writing. I quit all social media venues, except one I visited occasionally. I said, “no” to every volunteer opportunity.

I quit scheduling stuff, and cramming my days with pressure to do this, do that, get IT done, get more page views, followers and comments. 

My want-to quit on me too. In a state of exhaustion, I felt the unravel begin.

Marital irritants became monumental. I began to disengage from everything important.

I questioned...

• Will my marriage survive?
• Will the ministry survive?
• Has God really called me to write?
• Did I really hear Him say......

Some days ended with me crashing in bed before dinner.

Add to that the ongoing sorrow of my son’s mental illness and estrangement, I was done.

Then in March the news came. My bestie of 25 years, mentor and sister in Christ (the one on the left) suddenly had a stroke and lay in the hospital on life support. She wasn’t going to make it.

A seven-hour drive to say goodbye, followed by her passing, left me depleted and emotionally spent. 

No doubt that my current life, compounded with past years of undealt-with hurts had caught up with me. 

All I seemed to be able to hear from God was, 

“Terri, stop! Get quiet. Be still.”

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Gladly, Lord. Gladly."

My Father put me in time out. 

During my alone time with God, my prayers went from presenting requests, with stress-infused petitions, to two things:

“Lord, that I would hear Your voice, 

and be filled with Your spirit.”

Was I in trouble and needed to be disciplined? Or was my time out like those called by coaches to discuss strategy and a new game plan? I discovered it was some of both.

Meet me back here tomorrow to find out how my Rescuer, Jesus, showed up. 

If you are on the brink of quitting, hang on! If you're burned out and over committed, there's hope.

Until tomorrow, I leave you with this song: WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST

Staying the course,

Terri