What We Need

What do you need right now?

A job? Money? A place to live? Food? Clothes?  These are real needs that God promises to provide.

Now, think about your wants, desires. A man? More money? A better place to live? Nicer clothes? Romance?

My list of wants and desires can be long, I’m ashamed to admit.

What about justifiable wants and desires? The desire to do good things. Help others. Give more. Fulfill godly vision. What’s wrong with those desires?

Nothing.

Or the desire for a godly mate. For my children to be ok and successful. What’s wrong with wanting good things? Nice things?

Nothing.

God promises to give us the desires of our heart, right? Yes! We’re all familiar with Psalm 37:4.

 Take delight in the Lord, and 

He will give you the desires of your heart. (NIV)

Usually when we quote this verse we only say, He’ll give you the desires of your heart, leaving out the most important part, Take delight in the Lord…

There was a time when I thought I delighted in the Lord. Turns out my motives weren’t pure, which explained my continued frustration.

Like a child pleading with their parent, but I do what you want. I’ve been good. I don’t disobey you like little Suzi does. Whyyee?

Now, later in life, I’m learning (note the present-tense) what delighting in the Lord is. I think of Mary of Bethany.  She is mentioned in the Bible only a few times. But her name and story lives on.

One mention of Mary is when her sister, Martha, complained to Jesus that she wasn’t helping prepare a big meal for Him and their guests. Mary was too busy sitting at Jesus’ feet absorbing every word He said. She didn’t care what others thought. She wasn’t concerned with pleasing anyone. (Luke 10:38-42)

Another time was when her brother, Lazarus, died. Jesus showed up days after his burial. Mary tearfully falls at Jesus’ feet, blurting out, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. Luke 11:32

There she is, at His feet again.

The most memorable mention of Mary is when she quietly, yet with incredible boldness, approached Jesus in a room full of men, with a very expensive jar of scented oil and anointed His feet. One gospel reports she poured it on His head, yet another says His feet and wiped it with her hair.

(Matthew 26:6-7; John 12:1-8)

Again, she’s at His feet.

When Martha complained that Mary wasn’t helping her prepare the big meal for Jesus, He lovingly rebukes her, saying, Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. Luke 10:41-42

Mary’s brother lay dead and buried as she fell at Jesus’ feet, exhausted from grief, perhaps feeling abandoned by Him. What did Jesus do?

He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. John 11:33

Jesus wept. John 11:35

Not a sniffle or a few tears and then man up. No. He openly wept. Even though he knew the outcome, He wept with Mary and the others whose hearts were broken.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 

and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

Psalm 34:18

Mary spent a lot of time at Jesus’ feet, learning of Him, crying out to Him and worshipping Him. This is where she found delight and her heart’s desires fulfilled. Not by being busy, busy, busy serving Him.

Jesus said, …but few things are needed - indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better.

Can all our wants and desires truly be met sitting at the feet of Jesus? Can what we need AND desire

both be met this way?

One thing I do know, when I sit at His feet daily, my wants and desires change.  

I change.

My unfulfilled heart’s desires shift to a heart of delight that I can’t find anywhere else.

I welcome you to share in the comments below how the Lord fulfills your heart’s desires as you delight in Him.

If you’ve struggled with what “sitting at Jesus’ feet” looks like, and don’t know where to begin, join me next Monday as I share how I’ve come to that place at His feet out of my deepest needs and desires.

Until then, stay the course,

Terri

Standing at a Crossroad-Part 2

Welcome to part two of Standing at a Crossroads. If you missed last Monday’s post, scroll down or access it to the right of this page.

Are you at a crossroads today? 

Has God presented an idea or situation to you, you feel He wants you to pursue, but you need assurance this direction is from Him?

As I share my story about a life-changing decision I made, I hope it will help you move forward through your own crossroads.

Last Monday I left off where I’d made the decision to attend a three-month missions training with Youth with a Mission (YWAM), at the University of the Nations in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. 

God’s ongoing leading in this direction was an exciting time in my life, but I was also scared to pieces!

My close friends and church family were supportive and excited for us. 

I wondered how I would explain our three-month absence to my ex. His controlling behavior instilled the fear that one day he’d follow through with his threats. 

I provided him with information about the organization and the children’s school. He'd accept it as a great opportunity one day, then the next spew harassing threats. This had become the norm no matter what I did. 

This was not an overnight decision. God’s leading in this direction was over the course of a year and a half.

Two weeks after my ex-husband married my former best friend, my kids and I were in Hawaii surrounded by God’s beauty and new friends from all over the world.

I developed close friendships with several other single moms in my class and their children became friends with mine. Our eyes were opened to a whole world of different cultures, people and nations.

I was glad I didn’t shrug off God’s initial prompting to pray and seek wise counsel about this training. When He filled me with a strong desire to go, He provided circumstances that assured me this was His leading and enabled me to step out in faith.  

My kids were thriving. I was able to focus on my relationship with the Lord, my classwork and experience healing.

One day I went alone to a lagoon/beach not far from campus. On my walk back, I meandered along the sea wall and stopped at a beautiful spot to take pictures.  

While digging the camera out of my bag, I had an overwhelming sense of being on a honeymoon. My ex-husband married my ex best friend, yet I was the one on a honeymoon with Jesus! Only God can orchestrate such things.

One day the sheriff came on campus to serve me with

custody papers. Fear and anger engulfed me, but God quickly won that battle as the case was thrown out. I was filled with concern of what my ex might do next. Fear crept in about continuing with the eight-week outreach and then a possible staff position following the classes.

As our class time came to an end, I had not committed to the outreach, even though the leaders strongly encouraged us to go. I had no doubt God would provide, but underlying fears challenged my decision. 

There was also pressure from other family members and a job waiting at home. I struggled with outside pressure, as well as my practical sensibilities.

I stood at another major crossroad. Stay or go home. My heart and mind screamed, “STAY!”

I didn’t press in with God for direction. I allowed fear and outside pressure to rule my decision. Before I knew it, the words came out of my mouth, “we’re going home.”

I returned to the rat race, along with more hardships than before. God provided our needs, but it took a long time for me to accept that I’d made the wrong decision. 

In hindsight, the job would have still been there at a later time. I realized my ex could have never followed through with his empty threats.  

Aborting the training by not completing the field assignment, resulted in years of grief and lasting consequences for me and my children. I believe God was positioning us to break free from abuse by staying on and coming home later when He said it was time.

God is a redeeming God though. He used my training by providing short-term opportunities to Mexico and Honduras. He eventually severed ties with my ex, but not without years of emotional abuse that otherwise might not have happened, if I’d pressed in with God before making the decision to return home.

God doesn’t waste anything. Rather than dwelling on what might have been, God uses this wonderful lesson of growth when I make decisions today.

What crossroads decision are you facing? Big or small, it's crucial to spend time alone with the Lord, pray, read your Bible and 
wait. Seek wise counsel and pay attention to doors that close and open. There will always be opposition from well-meaning loved ones, as well as worldly pressures. 

When God provides circumstances that line up with His word and wise counsel with trusted friends, you can proceed with confidence that the path He sets before you is His best. 

You have made known to me the path of life; 

you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

Feel free to share your crossroads below.

Until next Monday, stay the course,

Terri

Standing at a Crossroads-Part 1

Are you at a crossroads? Big or small, not knowing what direction

to take can be over-whelming. How can you know which way you're to go?

Twenty-two years ago I stood at a major crossroads. Following ongoing confirmation through godly counsel, God’s word and circumstances, I made my decision. This led me into the most wonderful time of my life with the Lord.

A short time later I stood at yet another crossroads, with a second decision to make.

This is a two-part post. We’ll continue part 2 in next week's Monday Marker.

I’m sharing my story with the hope it will help, if you find yourself at a crossroads. The directional marker God staked down for me during this time changed my life. 

Twenty-two years down the road, that marker still affects how I make big decisions. I haven’t always adhered to it and regret when I’ve doubted, jumped ahead of God, and made decisions without seeking clear direction from Him. 

It all started at a Bible study I regularly attended. Two guests came to talk about their recent overseas, short-term mission project. They shared about the work and experiences they had during their trip.

Foreign missions had never been on my radar before. I was moved speechless by their stories, and saw many faces of hurting people in their pictures and slides that resonated deeply with me.

Several years prior, I’d gone through a horrific divorce. Through God’s mercy and grace, I’d found deep comfort and healing. I was drawn to helping others going through similar experiences. As I listened that night, I was surprisingly compelled with a desire to know more.

Through my church, I met a lot of missionaries and heard about short-term opportunities. Through these connections, God introduced me to Youth with a Mission (YWAM), an international organization that trains long and short-term missionaries, Christian leaders, pastors, etc.

YWAM training campuses are scattered all over the world. The

main campus is in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, called University of the Nations. Children attend Foundation School while their parents are in class. The classroom training is three months followed by a two-month field assignment on foreign soil.

For a struggling, single mom of two, this seemed a crazy, far-fetched notion. But I couldn’t ignore the deepening desire and ongoing confirmation. It took the Lord a year and a half to get us there. He provided miraculously through finances and support of those around us. This was the best time of my life and also the worst.

After my divorce, I endured emotional abuse and harassment from my ex-husband. I went to extremes to keep the peace while my fear of him grew. The insane events that often unfolded, reminded me of the TV show, COPS. His life was out of control and spilled onto the kids and me, even though we were divorced.

However, God continued pouring good things into my life. I truly was at a crossroads. It’s no coincidence that the training is called Crossroads Discipleship Training School. One day, while doing Bible study homework, I read this: 

Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the 

ancient paths, ask where the good way is, 

and walk in it, and you will find 

rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)

I asked, “God, is that You?”

For months I’d put these wild notions on the back burner, leaving it up to God if He wanted us to do something as outlandish as this.

I’d asked the Lord to fill my heart with His desires, replacing those that weren’t of Him. I also asked Him to show me in His word.

This was the push I needed to recklessly abandon myself to my new Husband, Jesus, and trust Him with my mustard seed faith. Doors opened with each step we took in preparations to go. 

If you’re at a crossroads and your decision isn’t life altering, take time to pray, seek godly wisdom and wait. I’ve learned the hard way to NOT force any doors open.

If your decision is life-altering, know that God will not put you in the position to make an overnight decision. Finding His direction isn’t a big mystery you’re burdened with to solve. He doesn’t play games with our head like that.

As you seek God’s direction, keep praying, stay in His word, seek godly wisdom and don’t make any decision based on your emotions.

I invite you to share below in the comments or email me a personal comment via the contact form on the right.

Until next Monday, stay the course.

Terri

Running with Purpose

Welcome to Women In Need WIN, formerly, Markers for Single Moms. I’m excited you’ve stopped by.

In my March 18, 2016, post titled, A New Name, I shared the reason for the name change and new look. You can access it in the blog archive on the right side of this page or simply scroll down.

I am a woman in need. Are you?

I once thought by the time I reached a certain age, I’d be wiser and walking by faith more consistently in every area of my life. Things haven’t always turned out quite as I’d planned. The good things God has done in and through my life are all His doing, DESPITE me.

I may have a tad more wisdom than in my earlier days, but the older…ahem…let’s say, the more mature I become, the clearer I see how desperately I need Jesus than ever before.

If the Lord waited until I had it together, full of wisdom and knowledge, and not so full of..…uh, me, to use my life, nothing would ever get done.

I’ve grieved lost ambitions, missed opportunities and deferred hopes because of doubts, fears and unbelief that once kept me from finding His direction.

Single mom, single again, married, married again, wherever you may be, we all have needs that only God can fill.

I believe the answers we’re hungry for, the healing we seek, and inner nagging for fulfillment we clamor for, are found in God’s word, the Bible, and the indwelling of His Spirit, through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Period.

Whatever our circumstances, marital status or stage in life, we were created to fulfill a unique purpose God has planned for each of us.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

How can I know His purpose and will for my life, you might ask?

In order to find God’s direction for our lives we have to know Him. I’m not talking about being a Christian and knowing Him as Your Savior. I’m talking about KNOWING Him. And to truly know Him, we must spend time with Him, alone.

If we are His handiwork, created in Christ Jesus, then knowing Him should be our greatest passion. From that will flow the specific purposes He’s created us for. Isn’t that the key to fulfillment?

I don’t have all the answers, but I can point to the One who does. Perhaps together we can find community and encouragement here, squished between a million other blogs with promises of the next greatest gadget, weight-loss program or self-help model.

God has the best plan; better than anything I can devise. He uses markers in my life to keep me on course. Along with grieving lost hopes and opportunities, I’ve experienced sheer joy from following His direction in wonderful opportunities I would have otherwise missed. The most exciting, fulfilling times of my life have been when I stepped out in faith, and He swept me away into the unknown of His fabulous plans.

It’s my prayer that together we will discover God’s directional markers for our lives. Let’s share our joy and encouragement that will come from following the One who created us with His specific purposes in mind.

I am a woman in need with my own race to win. What about you? God has a race for you to run and WIN. I invite you to run with me.  

Join me this Monday, April 4, for Monday Markers.

Til then, stay the course.

Terri

A New Name

Anytime there’s a name change, something new is taking place. I remember how I felt when I changed back to my maiden name after being divorced for 12 years. My kids were almost adults. The attachment to my married name didn’t fit who I was anymore. A lot of changes happened in 12 years, including me. I was a new person because of all God had done in my life.

It felt so good to be called by my new name, even though it’s who I was for the first 19 years of my life.

I know. A name is just a name, and my identity lies in Christ. Like it or not, though, sometimes a name can loom over you like a dense cloud, but it doesn’t have to.

You don’t have to change your name to enjoy new life in Christ. But God will call you by a new name anyway. How about, Hephzibah? Isaiah 62: 4. Hephzibah means “my delight is in her”.

God calls you and me, My Delight.

Markers for Single Moms is getting a new name. And a new look. Why?

I’m a woman in need. You’re a woman in need, whoever you are. We’re all in need of God’s direction. Single moms. Single again. Never married. Married again.

Jesus said to Simon, Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch. Luke 5:4.

Simon explained to Jesus how they’d been fishing all night with no success, but because Jesus said so, Simon let down the nets in deeper water. (Luke 5:5)

When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. Luke 5:6

I don’t have a fancy explanation for the name change, other than the Lord has given clear direction. A new directional marker has been staked down and I will follow. 

The new name will be revealed very soon.

What new direction is God leading you? What new marker has He staked down in your life, pointing in the direction He wants you to go?

I invite you to share in the comments below, something new God is doing in your life and where He is leading you.

…you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. Isaiah 62:2

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine wishes drench social media, while flowers and balloons are delivered, couples go out to eat and marriage engagements are made. Love is in the air and doted on those who are half of a couple. Chocolate candy and cards are exchanged among lovers and spouses. It’s a wonderful day to show those you care about how much they mean to you.

But…

For a single parent, Valentine’s Day can be annoying. But it doesn’t have to be. If you’re a single mom, you probably focus your expression of love towards your kids, parents, friends or siblings. That’s great. But somewhere in there you may be wrestling with the desire to be desired. I remember. I’ve been there. It doesn't help when everywhere you go you're bombarded with this reminder. 

I’m here to tell you though, now that I have a husband, and he’s a gem, he’s human, and so am I. Sometimes expectations aren’t met, and when placing all your love eggs in one basket you’re going to, at some point, be disappointed. We’re busy and wait until the last minute to grab a card from the picked over bunch and hope there’s still something left on the candy isle. Yes, that’s me. And yes, that’s him, and probably more than half of all the couples bragging about what their other half gave them on this special love day. It’s the pressure of advertisements, the media and what society puts on us to "prove" our love. 

Truth is, the origin of Valentine’s Day isn’t based on romance. If you want to read about the history of St. Valentine, you can do so here: http://www1.cbn.com/st-valentine-real-story

In reality Valentine’s Day isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be. I’ll tell you what’s ALWAYS worth believing and putting all your love eggs in one basket for.

His eternal, jealous love is constant, perfect and so deep, you can’t see the end of it. The most romantic, human love can’t touch the matchless love of Jesus Christ.

It may sound cliché or corny to some, but when you’re alone or in the depths of heartache and betrayal, or abandoned and neglected, you learn what true love is. It’s not superficial. It knows no end like human love. And in the greatest of marriages or dating relationships, or friendships, without the ingredients of Jesus’ unconditional, selfless love blended into these human relationships, most won’t survive.

This is true love: "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13) This is what Jesus did for you and me. No man will ever love you the way He does. If and when God does bring a man into your life who brings you flowers and gifts, he’s human, and can never surpass the passionate love that Jesus has for you.

I want to encourage you to focus on that love. It's perfect. And if you give your heart fully to Jesus, he just might romance you in the most unexpected way. 

In His perfect love,

Terri

He-art Work

It’s a New Year! We are 12 days into 2016 at this writing. It’s been an entire year since I last posted. A lot has happened since then.

Last year I took a step back from a lot of busyness in my life. I recognized a need

to press pause and make room for some HE-art work I felt God showed me needed to be done.

I took advantage of joining a women's nine-month step study through our Celebrate Recovery program at church. I knew this would be a safe place to unveil the emotions I’ve stuffed for the majority of my life and get real. I spent nine months digging, uprooting, replanting and growing. 

God introduced a few new markers to me. He presented healing and direction in several areas of my life. I hope to share those with you in the coming months with the hope of encouraging you on your personal path with Him.

Single Mom, You are not called to be superwoman, invincible, to stand alone in

the face of adversity. No! And you are not called to understand everything. You ARE called to be His bride, trusting, believing and relying on Him. 

You may already know and live in this trusting place with Him. But you aren't called to do life alone. God uses others who have walked a similar path. He uses encouragers and those who will inspire you to lay down your yoke of burdens and pick up His yoke of grace and mercy to walk into the marvelous things He has planned for you. Do you need to have some He-art work done? 

If you’d like to know more about Celebrate Recovery, visit  www.celebraterecovery.com. It is a Christ-centered recovery program for any and all who have ANY hurt, habit or hang-up. Even the strongest of Christian women need time to recover and recharge.

Unveiled,

Terri